Losses
by darkwoodsdreamer
Summary: Kyoya has been missing from school for weeks. When he finally shows back up, something is wrong. And things will never be the same for the Host Club again. WARNING: unexpected twist that homophobics will not like. Flames are used to toast marshmallows.
1. Chapter 1

**Kyoya has been missing from school for weeks. When he finally shows back up, something is wrong. And things will never be the same for the Host Club again.**

**Sucky summary, I know, but I got the idea from Black Butler, in case you were wondering. I'll explain in more depth if another chapter comes up. Review and tell me if I should continue this!**

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><p>Haruhi's POV<p>

That day, Kyoya walked in missing an arm.

For weeks, Kyoya had been absent from school. We were all really worried, especially because we couldn't reach him. When we called his cell, we only got voice mail. Similarly, calling his mansion only got us an irritable maid telling us he was busy. We actually showed up at the mansion once, but the maid wouldn't even let us inside. We were on the verge of canceling club activities, but decided against it. The customers had no idea something was wrong, so canceling would only make them worry. Instead, we had told them Kyoya wouldn't make it for club activities because of some personal family problems.

So, when he walked in, we were all so surprised and relieved. Of course, this was _before _we noticed he was one arm short. As far as we knew, he hadn't attended classes, so him showing up at club activities was a little strange, not to mention against the rules. Which just escaladed the strangeness, seeing as Kyoya is a rule-follower.

I think I was the first one to notice . His sleeve on his left arm was strangely… deflated, I suppose you could say. It was looked flat and empty. I raised an eyebrow before I looked down and saw – well, it's more like I didn't see a hand at the end. I threw my hand over my mouth and my eyes got really big.

"Haruhi, what's wro—oh… my… god…" Tamaki's voice got really quiet. Everyone started staring at him open-mouthed. I don't think any of us could believe that one day, Kyoya had just walked in without an arm. It didn't really make any sense. I started racking my brain for ways this could have possibly happened, but I couldn't come up with anything.

Kyoya took absolutely no notice of our reactions. He glanced around the room and, seeing no customers, went to lounge on the couch.

"No customers yet? Well, classes did just end…" Kyoya sighed and glanced at the clock. He took out the accounting book from its spot under the table and opened to a few weeks ago. He glanced up and saw us all surrounding or sitting on the couch and staring at him, speechless.

"Hm? Oh, this." He lifted what little piece of arm was left, which was to just above the elbow. He said it as though there was no reason for our surprise, as though it was everyday that your friends walked in missing various limbs.

"I lost it a few weeks ago. That's why I was out of school."He went back to the accounting books, muttering to himself as he corrected the mathematical errors Tamaki had made during his absence.

I finally found my voice and managed to squeak out, "Uh, i-if you don't mind my asking, how did you manage to l-lose and arm?" He looked at me incediously.

"You already know the answer to that, don't you?" I felt all eyes turn to me.

"Um… no, not really. Just what are you implying? Are you calling me a stalker or something?" I crossed my arms as I came back to myself, the initial shock starting to wear off.

"Wait a minute. Why on earth would you be stalking Kyoya?" Hikaru and Kaoru asked in unison. I shrugged, still glaring at Kyoya.

"Your telling me. Why don't you ask Kyoya? Apparently, he has some proof I spend my free time stalking him." I replied curtly. Any sympathy I had been feeling for him was pretty much gone at this point.

"That wasn't what I was saying." Kyoya said quickly, holding up a hand to cut off the twins. He kept staring at me, a startled and confused look in his eye. "All I meant was - I thought you would have heard by now. I figured people would start spreading rumors—"

"Actually, it was us who started the rumors so that no one would start any rumors." Hunny said, hugging Usa tightly to his chest. Kyoya finally stopped staring at me to start staring at Hunny.

"Isn't that a little like giving a robber your money so he won't steal it?" Hikaru asked him.

"I don't think you did a very good job of explaining that. You just made us sound like horrible, rude, gossiping jerks." Kaoru pointed out. Hunny pouted as tears glistened at the edges of his eyes.

"I was just trying to—"

"W-What they mean," Tamaki interrupted quickly, "is that we told the customers that you were out on a few personal family problems. We told them not to say anything, so chances are they spread it all over the school." He had a triumphant look on his face, as though his plan involved some never-before-seen genius.

"Yes, Tamaki, of course." Kyoya mumbled distractedly. He had already gone back to his accounting, obviously not interested in what he had to say. We all fell silent, watching him do quick math in his head. I glanced at the clock. 5 minutes until customers started arriving. Suddenly, a thought occurred to me.

"Kyoya-sempai?" He looked up at me.

"Yes, what is it?"

"Well… have you thought about what you're going to say to customers?"

Kyoya looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean you can't very well just have someone go, 'what happened to your arm?' and your response be something like, 'oh, it just sorta fell off.'. You have to have some sort of plan!" I said, exasperated. Did losing limbs bring along a few brain cells? "You were out of school on family issues and you turn back up missing an arm? What was the issue, child abuse?"

Kyoya laughed. "Of course I've thought about that. I did have a plan, but it's useless now since I was counting on rumors being spread by the students. I didn't count on Tamaki spreading rumors."

"I don't get it." Hikaru said. "What difference does it make if Tamaki spreads them or the other students do?"

Kyoya put down his book and sighed. "Because whatever rumors spread by someone who is with me on a daily basis will be taken as fact. People will think that, seeing as Tamaki is my friend, he will know the truth. Unfortunately, they trusted an idiot. My plan was to dispel rumors by just saying, 'oh, that's not true.' That won't work if you were saying it in a matter-of-factly way."

"Which we did." Hikaru said.

"You can thank Boss over there for that. The whole rumor thing was his idea in the first place." Kaoru added. "People were starting to worry. Especially us." He pointed to his empty sleeve. "Looks like our worries were justified."

Kyoya sighed, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Even so, that idiot shouldn't have acted on his own. My plan is ruined now, and I'm not sure what I'll say. I figured even Tamaki could figure that much out on his own, but it seems not. Now if you'll excuse me." Kyoya said, looking up at the clock. "Club activities are about to begin, and I don't think I should show today." He stood and disappeared behind a curtain.

Tamaki, who had been sulking in a corner, rushed to the doors as the patter of feet started down the hall. "Nobody mention Kyoya." He whispered as we took position.

"No, really?" Hikaru muttered under his breath as the door swung open.

"Welcome."


	2. Chapter 2

**So, finally, I have the second chapter of Losses up. I've actually had this finished for a few days, but my mom was on the computer with the file saved for almost 3 days straight and I don't have a flash drive, so I had no opportunity to upload. I'm so glad I finally got on! Well, anyways, enjoy and remember to review!**

**Oh, right, I promised to explain where I got this idea! I almost forgot. Well, first off, my explanation is a huge spoiler, so SPOILER ALERT! So, do you remember how at the end of Black Butler Season 1 (which is the only one I've watched so far; I've been advised not to watch the second series) Sebastian looses his arm in a fight with... oh Kami, what is the name of Angela's male form? Well, anyway, that guy? In the English version, both Kyoya and Sebastian are voice by J. Micheal Tatum. So, naturally, I just HAD to write a story where Kyoya looses and arm. Well, that's where it came from, however odd it may be. **

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><p>Haruhi's POV<p>

I sat at the table in my kitchen, pondering what Kyoya had said.

_You already know the answer to that, don't you?_

What did he mean? Did he tell me and I just…? I don't know, forgot? How I could forget something like that was beyond me. Did the reason he lost it have something to do with me? If it did, wouldn't he have told me after he had lost it? Instead of ignoring all of our calls, texts, and emails? My phone beeped, indicating a text message. I didn't recognize the number, but I opened the text anyway.

_You really don't remember? –Kyoya_

I rolled my eyes. Did he really have to ask? I would have said if I remembered.

_No I don't. Would u like to clue me in? What is it that I've forgotten?_

I texted back, slightly annoyed. If he was going to ask me whether or not I remembered whatever it was, did it occur to him he should tell me what he was talking about? But 5 minutes passed and he still hadn't texted me back. I sighed. Why couldn't he just tell me without all the drama? Sometimes his secretive and untrusting nature was annoying. He could be upfront and honest about anything EXCEPT anything that's important.

I added Kyoya's new number into my phone, deleting his old one since it probably wouldn't be any good anymore. I laid back on the floor and stared at the ceiling. This was so annoying.

Kyoya's POV

_No I don't. Would u like to clue me in? What is it that I've forgotten?_

I sighed and flipped my phone closed, not bothering to answer the text. I reached up and touched what was left of my arm. I wasn't too surprised that she didn't remember anything, but I was hoping I wouldn't have to go through this. I didn't want to tell her. I wanted to be able to just move past this, forget about it all. It was definitely the WORST night of my life and I just wanted to put it behind me. Having to explain to Haruhi what happened was the exact opposite of just forgetting and putting it behind me. I stared at the wall in front of me. My life really sucked.

I took my phone out again and texted her back. I knew I was going to have to do this sooner or later, and it might as well be sooner than later, no matter how much I wanted to keep putting it off.

_I'll tell u about it some other time. This isn't the kinda thing u talk about while texting. _

I re-read my message before sending it. I didn't want to make it seem like I was freaking out to much, but also didn't want to make it seem like I was being too laid-back either. I decided it was a good in-between message and sent it back. I had a horrible feeling in my gut, like I was going to regret doing this. My phone went off, indicating that Haruhi had texted me back.

_When is some time?_

_When I'm not too busy w/ other stuff_

I immediately regretted sending this one. I definitely sounded way too laid-back, plus I just basically told her she was unimportant to me. God, I was such an idiot. It only made it worse for me since I was not the kind of person to make such stupid mistake. _I guess everyone is allotted a few dumb-ass mistakes after times of horrible trauma. _I thought sarcastically.

_Oookaaaay… whatevs whenever ur ready, I guess_

Her response didn't exactly raise my current self-esteem. I banged my head against the wall a few times. I attempted to raise my left arm and hold my now-aching head in my hand. When I realized what I had done, I chuckled at myself. _God, I really am a dumb-ass._

I got up and stretched, not bothering to respond. I didn't want to sound like an ass… again. I went downstairs and walked into the kitchen. My older brother was sitting at the table, talking business with my father.

"Hey, Kyoya." He said, looking at me briefly before going back to his conversation. I muttered a response before grabbing a glass of water and started back towards the stairs, trying to look as though I was absorbed in my thoughts. If I was lucky, maybe they would just ignore me.

"Wait a second, Kyoya." Of course. He just had to talk to me. I turned and faced him, trying not to look as though I wanted to punch him in the face as much as I really did. "Why don't you sit and talk with us for a while?" Father asked, apparently trying to look friendly but failing miserably. He was still new at the whole nice thing, so I wasn't offended. In fact, I thought it was kind of him, but annoying at the same time. Geez, you lose _one _limb and everyone thinks they need to baby you.

I smiled at him. "Thank you, Father, but I'm afraid I'll have to decline. I have a lot of schoolwork to catch up on. Also, there is a test next week I need to study for. Now, if you'll excuse me." I bowed and smiled, trying to show that I appreciated his offer, which I really didn't, but I'd never had morals against lying and I wasn't about to start now. My brother and father seemed to buy it, though, so I turned and walked out, going back to my room. Of course, I didn't have any more work to do but I didn't want to sit and talk with my family as they stared at me with eyes full of sympathy and compassion, two emotions I've never know any of them to posses. I rolled my eyes. My life officially sucked.

Once I got back to my room, I noticed I had a new text message from Tamaki.

_Hey, so how did u lose ur arm?_

I almost laughed. As if I was really going to answer that text, especially when I knew how he felt about Haruhi, even if he didn't quite know it himself. I would never do something like that to him. That idiot didn't need to know just yet. Of course, I'd eventually have to tell him, but, honestly, when it came to sooner or later, I preferred later.


	3. Chapter 3

**Finally uploaded! I haven't got the chance to work on this forever. I haven't been able to concentrate on my school work because of it! (addiction much?) But it's finally up and I couldn't be more relieved. I actually have a basis on where I'm going to be going with this (thank you missmimsy42) for once, so I can reasonably estimate about a 15-20 chapter story. Yeah, that sounds good. Well, enjoy and review!**

**Ps. All locations and cars and whatnot that are not from the story are actual places. and cars. The cars from this story are on a list of top cars for 2011. It won't let me give you the link, so message me if you want to know the site I got that from.**

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><p>Haruhi's POV<p>

I walked into host club that day, surprised to see Kyoya out and about. With other people there. So, everybody obviously knew now. Kyoya looked up when the door opened and smiled at me. The words Kyoya and smile NEVER belong in the same sentence unless there's a 'never in hell' somewhere in there. I was officially freaked. He realized his mistake and quickly righting, looking at me now with cool indifference. _Oh yeah, much better. _I thought, as the customers looked on curiously. _Now they're going to think there's something going on between us. Just perfect._

"Might I speak with you a moment, Haruhi?" Kyoya asked, not bothering to mention what about.

"Uh, yeah, sure." I said, following him as he walked away. I shook my head as I walked behind him, trying to clear it. Maybe he would finally tell me what it was I had supposedly forgotten, although I doubted it. Not with all these people around. An image flashed into my head. A hand, flying towards my face. A scream in the background, a male voice. _What the hell?_ I thought. _Where did that come from?_After thinking for a minute, I decided it must just be from a dream I had, although I knew that couldn't be it.

We were in a secluded area, away from the tables occupied by guests. Kyoya spoke, his voice soft and quiet.

"We're saying it was an assassin, sent to kill my father. It happens to the owners of prominent businesses often. The story is I caught him outside on the grounds and he shot me in the arm. I fell and was knocked unconscious. Fortunately, the assassin did not get to my father. He ran, afraid that there would be others. Unfortunately, his gun was one specially created for assassins as to make virtually no noise and I wasn't found until morning. By then, infection had set in and it was too save the arm." I was tempted to roll my eyes, but I suppressed the urge. After all, it was supposed to be a serious story.

"Wow, Kyoya. You're lucky to even be alive. Shouldn't you have bled to death?"

"Well, if it wasn't for my moth—" Kyoya stopped short. For a second, before he had composed himself, I saw a flicker of regret on his face, as though he shouldn't have said anything.

"Your mother? What does she have to do with this?" I asked, serious. Did his mother know about something and did nothing to stop it? Could she have caused him to lose his arm herself?

"Never mind." Kyoya said, walking away. I stood and watched him leave, very confused. His mother? I pondered over this slip of the tongue. Was his mother abusing him? A rich woman who had everything she could ever ask for, abusing her child? That couldn't be it. I quickly dismissed the thought. _He's lashing out. _I realized. _He must blame her for not doing anything to stop whatever happened. They talked about that in Health in my middle school, about how people lash out on their loved ones when something is wrong because they don't know how to deal with what's going on in their lives. _I felt bad for him. I wondered if I was like that right after my mom died. I was only a little kid, but still. I wonder if I blamed Dad for Mom's death somewhere in my heart.

"Haruhi, what are you doing? You're just standing in a corner, spacing out." Hikaru said, walking up to me. "You have customers, you know. You can't just stand here." He said.

"I have customers? I didn't even know. Thanks!" I called over my shoulder before running off. I sat down at a table where a few girls were chatting with no host in sight, figuring they must be the customers.

"Hi, ladies. Were you waiting long?" I asked them.

"No, not at all." A red-headed girl responded, blushing. I could never figure that out. All I did was ask a simple question, and they acted like I had said something overly romantic.

"Is it true?" A shorter girl with long brown hair asked. "Did Kyoya really… you know… _get hurt _because of an assassin?" She asked, leaning in and lowering her voice.

"Yeah, it is." I answered. Knowing that I was lying to them didn't exactly make me feel good, but it was the story Kyoya wanted to use, so I suppose I just had to go along with it. "I'm still surprised for a second every time I see his arm." I sighed, thinking about Kyoya's text. When would he explain things? Would he even tell us what happened to him at all? I just wanted to know what happened to him so I could make sure it didn't happen again. _Where did that thought come from? _ I thought to myself suddenly. _It sounded like I was dating him or something. I don't think about Kyoya like that… do I? _I looked over at Kyoya, talking to his customers.

"Uh… Haruhi?" the brown-haired girl said, bringing me back to the real world. "Are you okay?" She asked, looking worried. All of the girls looked worried. Oops.

"Oh… sorry, ladies. I'm okay." I tried to smile, but failed.

"Wow. You're really upset about this, aren't you?" A blond haired girl I hadn't noticed earlier said.

"Well, yeah. I suppose I am. But I'm just glad he wasn't killed. I would hate to lose him." I smiled at them and tried to ignore the inevitable squealing that came with doing anything when you were a Host. Tamaki bent down and whispered in my ear from behind me.

"I'll drive you home after club. We should talk." He said before standing and walking away. I understood immediately. He wanted to know what I "knew" about Kyoya.

The girls had stopped their giggling and squealing and stared at me, wonder in their eyes.

"What was that about, Haruhi?" One of the girls asked. I could only imagine what must be going through their heads about some love affair that must be going on between us. All because he said something to me so that no one else could hear. God, high school girls could be annoying. Well, the ones who actually attended school as a girl, at least.

"Oh, there were just a few changes made to the after club schedules today. Tamaki-sempai was just letting me know." I tried to brush his words as if they meant nothing, but was scared they could see through me. I was relieved when they sat back in their chairs, disappointed.

"Oh, okay." The red-head said. "So, tell us more about Kyoya's… _accident. _Has he changed at all because of it?" I thought about that. Had he changed? I thought back to this morning. He smiled when I came in the door, a genuine smile. And that text: whenever I'm not to busy doing something else. Yes, he had changed. It wasn't a huge change, but a change nonetheless.

"Well, I guess he has a bit. I can't think of anyone who wouldn't change a little bit after facing something like that." I said honestly, not giving away any details, but they weren't satisfied with just that.

"Like how? Will he still be in the running to succeed his father?" The brown-haired one asked, an eager expression on her face. I suddenly felt angry, as though it were a personal insult. I couldn't explain why I felt like that, I just did.

"It's his arm he lost, not his brain." I said, a little too coldly. I regretted it almost immediately and tried to make up for it. "I'm sorry for snapping at you like that, ladies. I'm a little stressed-out right now." The surprise of my last comment was immediately replaced by sympathy. It was amazing how easily these girls could be swayed.

"No, I'm sorry for asking such a rude question." The brown-haired one (oh, right! Her family name was Suzumi.) said, blushing. "It was a heartless thing for me to ask. I don't know what came over me."

"No, it's okay, really." I said, trying to comfort her. _Shit. _I thought to myself. _Tamaki will kill me if he finds out a customer was upset over something I thought she shouldn't have said._ The blond-girl's phone went off and she opened it.

"We have to go." She said to me, obviously disappointed. "Come on, guys. The car is here."

"Okay. I hope to see you again soon ladies." I smiled at Suzumi. "Suzumi-san." She blushed and muttered her goodbyes, scurrying away after her friends. I looked around. Most of the other customers were leaving now too. After all his customers had left, Tamaki quickly apologized for having to leave so soon and hurried out the door, dragging me behind him.

We walked in silence until we reached the parking lot, which was a good 10 minutes away from the music wing. I could see that Tamaki must have planned this, because there was already a car waiting for him, a 2011 Nissan GT-R. My jaw dropped open at the sight of it.

"Sempai, do you know what the MSRP for one of these is?" I asked incrediously, still not believing that, even with all of his money, he would have a car like this.

"6,416,794 yen.* Why?" He asked, as though this was supposed to be a perfectly normal price to pay for a car.

"You actually paid that for a car?" I asked.

"Of course. How much do commoners pay for cars?" He asked, the real reason he wanted to talk to me forgotten.

"Well, there's a Honda Fit for 1,152,672 yen**…" I said thoughtfully. Tamaki looked horrified at the thought of paying that for a car, but quickly got over it, re focusing his attention.

"Never mind. Get in." He said, and I could have sworn I heard him say, "I will not have my little girl driving around in anything under 4 million yen." Under his breath. I almost laughed, but decided it would probably be better that he didn't know I had heard him and climbed in.

"Now, I want to talk to you about Kyoya."

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><p><strong>*84,060 US dollars.<strong>

****15,100 US dollars.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I feel like it's been forever since I uploaded this! Sorry about that. I had a really hectic weekend (fun, but hectic) and had absolutely no time for fanfiction. By the way, in case you're wondering, Haruhi will probably very often end up a sudden expert in random things you wouldn't think she would no to much about. For instance, cars, like in the last chapter. I'm pretty sure Haruhi doesn't really know a thing about cars, but I was just looking for a way to throw in more info about Tamaki's car. Just in case you were wondering, which you probably weren't, but oh well. Anyway, review and enjoy and all that good stuff.**

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><p>Haruhi's POV<p>

"I think I know what this is about. I really don't know anything, Sempai. I don't know why Kyoya thought I did, but I don't." I said, slightly irritated that he didn't believe me when I said it earlier.

"I believe you. I also know why you don't remember anything." He said, pulling out of the school parking lot. I stared at him incredulously. So he really didn't believe. He still thinks that somewhere in my head, I know what's going on.

"What, you think he told and I just forgot? Yeah, okay. Because I would totally just forget something so important." I said sarcastically, more than just slightly irritated now. "Do you even hear yourself?" Now I didn't sound anything like I normally do, but honestly, right then I didn't really care. I saw Sempai suppress a grin. Oh, so now making me mad was funny. _I swear, he has the worst people skills of anyone I've ever met. _

"How could you just forget something like that? No, what I mean is you have amnesia." He said slowly, for dramatic effect or because he thought I was stupid I wasn't sure. I stared at him.

"And just what are you basing this claim on?" I asked. Even Tamaki wouldn't be so overconfident as to say something like that without any proof. He smiled, a smile that said he knew he had me beat this time. I eyed him warily.

"Hospital records." He said, pulling a sheet of paper out of his pocket without taking his eyes off the road. "Here, take a look. It's from a few weeks ago, over the weekend, right when Kyoya started ignoring us. The two have to be related." I unfolded the piece of paper. Most of it was gibberish, as though it was written in a completely other language, but I was able to pick out key words and phrases. I saw my name and concussion written on the paper. A concussion? On the same day that Kyoya pretty much dropped off the face of the earth? And then he shows back up, missing an arm… Tamaki was right; this was too much of a coincidence not to be related. I looked for a hospital name, and saw one in the upper right hand corner.

"The hospital is even owned by Kyoya's father." Tamaki said, as if on cue.

"Wow… this has gotta be connected in some way. I'm going to text Kyoya right now!" I said excitedly, pulling out my cell phone. Faced with new evidence, surely he wouldn't brush me off again. He was going to tell me exactly what was going on sooner or later, and I voted for sooner.

Kyoya's POV

_I found a hospital record. It's mine, from right after u started ignoring us. Concussion. Care to explain?_

I froze. How had she gotten her hands on that record? There was no way she could have that! She had to be bluffing. _If she was bluffing, how would she know about it? _I reasoned with myself. I knew what she was doing. She was trying to corner me, to give me no choice but to tell her what had happened. I knew it would be much worse if she found out from someone other than me.

_How do u no about tht? _I texted back, hoping that would be enough for now. I had acknowledged that something had happened to her and that it had caused her to lose her memory. Also, that simple sentence allowed her to believe that she really had backed me into a corner. Hopefully, she would be content with that much for now.

_Does it matter? I just want 2 no wht's going on. Then I'll leave u alone. Deal? _ She texted me back. Damn. It looked like I was going to have to put a little more thought into this then I had originally planned to…

_Yes, it does matter. It matters a lot. U don't get info until I do._ I realized this sounded a little hostile and bitter, but I was going to do what it took to put this off without her trying to go to other people. If she thought I was caving, she would stick to just trying to get info out of me. There was no way I was just going to give her the full story. _I'm not even being selfish this time. _I realized. _The less she knows, the safer she probably is. Who knows what the mad-woman would do to her if she found out Haruhi knew… no, it's up to me to make sure that doesn't happen._

My phone vibrated, indicating another text. _Tamaki. Happy? Now, tell me what's going on!_ It read. I sighed. I had hoped she would be reluctant to give me the information first and would let it drop for now until I figured out where to go from here. Tamaki, huh? Well, I wasn't surprised, really. It's not like he knew this was for her greater good. Maybe it was time Tamaki knew a little more than everyone else… I wasn't sure I could trust him to keep a secret, but you never knew. I thought he would do it though, for Haruhi's sake if nothing else.

Haruhi's POV

I waited for him to text me back, but he never did. I sighed. He was being so difficult! I couldn't understand what it was that he was trying so desperately to keep from me. Did he not understand that I was his friend? That I wouldn't tell anyone else if he didn't want me to? Was he afraid I would laugh at him? I racked my brain for explanations, but none came. I remembered again the hand that flew toward my face. But, suddenly, I remembered screaming too. A woman's voice. She screamed, 'You little bitch!'. I thought about it. Who's hand was that? Who was screaming? Where was I in that memory? I had the feeling that once I figured out who it was, everything would start to fall into place. I knew that it was a vital piece of information, but nothing more. It was frustrating to have all the information you needed available, yet locked away out of reach.

Tamaki's phone vibrated, but he ignored it. Kiwo Ueta Otoko by Monkey Majik played softly in the background. I sang along softly to myself.

"Kono basho de kanjite. Ikite iru sono imi wo. Shiawase de irareru. Sube o wasureta to shita nara." I sang, slightly off key.

"You like this song?" Tamaki asked, not seeming to try to sound surprised but still sounding like it.

"Yeah, a little. I like the band, at least." I said. Tamaki turned it up and we sang all the way back to my house.


	5. Chapter 5

**Alright, finally, the next chapter. I don't know exactly how everything is going to go, so it might be a while before I update again. And by a while, I mean longer then how long it normally takes me to upload, which is going to kill me as much as it kills you, believe me. So, yeah, here is the next chapter, the last one you will see for a loooooong while... *sigh*... **

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><p>Haruhi's POV<p>

I walked into club and sat down at a table, waiting for everyone else to come in. I was early, really early. I had skipped last period just to make sure I was here before everyone else. Kyoya was always at least 10 minutes before everyone else. How he managed it, I have no idea. His last class was all the way on the other side of the campus! But I needed to get here before him, corner him. He was going to answer me today.

Kyoya walked in at exactly 4:00, right on time. The others probably wouldn't be here until about 4:15, giving me 15 minutes. Perfect. The minute he walked into the door, he froze. For a split second, I could see the shock on his face. He quickly composed himself though. He calmly walked over to the couch and sat, lounging in the couch. That was his first mistake: if he wasn't feeling stressed by this situation, he would have taken out his laptop, accounting book, homework, _something._

I crossed over to the other side of the room and sat across from Kyoya. He stared at me for a second before acknowledging my presence.

"Did you want to speak to me about something?" Mistake number 2: he knew exactly what I wanted to talk to him about. The tension was written all over his face. Two mistakes in the span of a minute? _He must be falling apart at the seams_, I mused.

"You know what I want to talk about. I'll give you a hint: I've been texting you about it ever since you returned to school." I kept my face blank and serious to match his. I was in control of this situation, and he knew it. The fact that he wasn't in control just proved to make him even more nervous. He smiled at me, an unreadable smile, a fake smile. He leaned back into the chair, trying to look calm and collected.

"Ask me anything you want. I have no secrets." _That was meant to catch me off guard. _I thought. I acted quickly, countering with the one question he didn't want me to ask. I didn't hesitate.

"Exactly how did you lose your arm? I want details, too. And what do I have to do with the situation." Kyoya sighed.

"So you open with that question. Is there nothing else you'd like to know? You once told me it was unfair that I knew so much about you, including things about your father, and that you wanted to know more about me in return." _And now he's stalling. _I thought. What was it that he was so desperate to keep from me? If he didn't want me to tell anyone else, fine. But seeing as this directly included me, I wanted to know what was going on. Now.

"What better way to get to know you then to know how you managed to lose a limb?" I shot back. "Details. Now." I was getting impatient now, and I could tell by the way that his body stiffened again that he knew he couldn't play this game any longer. Kyoya sighed again and looked up at the clock.

"Well, I suppose there's no logical reason to keep it from you. But there's only 3 minutes until the others will get here, so we can't talk here." He stood up and started walking towards the door. I stared after him, a bit confused. He had let his guard down so quickly, I was wary. What exactly was he planning? Was he going to tell me some story just to get me off his back? I wouldn't put it past him. I stood cautiously and followed him. He quickly walked out the door and started down the hall.

"Where are we going?" I asked him.

"You'll see when we get there." He replied shortly. I sighed. This situation was starting to drift back into his control, and he was milking it for all it was worth. I followed him, knowing that if I didn't allow at least this much, I would never get it out of him. We walked silently for a while before –

"Kyoya! Haruhi! Where are you two going?" –that. I groaned. I heard Kyoya mumble something that sounded suspiciously like 'Oh, shit.', if I was not mistaken. I suppressed a smile. Who knew that Kyoya swore?

Tamaki came to a halt about a foot away from us. "Hey, club's about to begin? Where are you going?" I was about to answer and say that Kyoya and I needed to have a talk, but Kyoya interrupted me before I could get anything out.

"Haruhi wasn't feeling well. She was getting a migrane. I didn't think it was safe for her to go home alone in that state, so I offered to drive her." Kyoya quickly lied. I was impressed. Had he come up with that all on the spot? _Wait, of course not. _I thought, mentally rolling my eyes. _He probably had this all planned out, just in case. Kyoya's just that paranoid. Though, I suppose it came in handy this time. _I mused.

"Uh, yeah, that's right." I squinted, pretending the light was bothering me. Tamaki shot me a look of pity.

"Oh, well, get better soon Haruhi." He said softly, surprisingly having enough sense not to scream. He walked away quietly, trying to make as little noise as possible. _A Tamaki with a brain? What has this world come too? _I thought, amused. Kyoya immediately swiveled on this heel and walked away. A bit girly, yes, but hey. To each his own, right?

"Let's go." He called over his shoulder to me. I snapped back to reality and jogged towards him until I was directly behind him again.

The rest of the walk was completely uneventful besides the constant texts from the Host Club members and customers telling me to get well soon. I sighed. Now I was going to have to stay home tomorrow to make the story look legitimate. I was going to have to make up my history test. God, this was just getting better and better.

Kyoya's car was cool looking, but not over the top: practical, stylish, and expensive, but not extremely expensive – a 2011 Infinity M37. I climbed into the passenger side after Kyoya unlocked the door and climbed into the driver's seat.

"So, are you going to tell me now, or do I have to wait until we get to wherever we're going?" I asked, not really expecting an answer but asking anyway. I figured he would just ignore me as his way of saying, 'You have to wait if you want me to say anything.' Surprisingly enough, he responded.

"Actually, I have no idea where we're going. I didn't bother to actually think of a place. I just knew we had to leave…" He said, his voice trailing off. "My house is out – I don't want my father getting any weird ideas. We could go to your apartment, if you wish, but I get the feeling your father is the same as mine." I laughed at that.

"Yeah, pretty much." I responded, thinking of how he reacted when he found Tamaki and me alone at the apartment.

"Or," Kyoya said, continuing, "We could just drive around. Nobody will bother us that way." I got the feeling he wanted to just drive around. I didn't really have a preference, as long as we stayed away from my apartment, so I nodded my head in agreement.

"Sure, let's just drive. I hear driving is a good way to relieve stress anyway." I said, not really realizing that I had just implied that this situation was making Kyoya stressed, which he wouldn't really like, until it was already out of my mouth. _Oh well. _I thought. _Might as well just go with it. _I waited for him to glare at me or something like that, but he just laughed, the expression on his face unreadable. He started the car and pulled out of the parking space.

"So, I guess I'll begin at Mother."

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><p><strong>I hope Haruhi wasn't too intense and Kyoya to lax... I was trying to make them mold to what I needed for this chapter, but I'm afraid I may have pushed it a little to hard... hopefully, they weren't to out of character... anyway, I forgot to tell you to review earlier, so review!<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**And here is chapter 6! This is an important turning point in the story and I hope you enjoy it! I don't know if there's actually going to be a coupling in this story, though there might. I now know where I'm going with this story, or at least have a vague idea, though that's better than before when I didn't know where I was going with it at all. So, yeah, don't forget to review and all that good stuff. Enjoy. **

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><p>Haruhi's POV<p>

"So, I guess I'll start at Mother." Kyoya said. He took a deep breath, and let out a small laugh. "You know, it feels strange, sitting here telling you all of this when somewhere deep down, you already know." I looked at him, confused for a moment before I got what he was implying; I had amnesia. It must have been on that hospital record somewhere, but I just didn't understand it. "Mother is an alcoholic. She's always drunk. I haven't seen her sober in… God, I don't even know how long."

"An… alcoholic? She's an alcoholic?" I asked, almost not able to believe it. I didn't understand how someone who had the money to buy everything she had ever wanted could become so depressed that they had to resort to getting drunk. Instead of glaring at me like I expected, Kyoya laughed again, but this time it was a cold laugh.

"What? Did you think that rich people were incapable of becoming depressed? As a matter of fact, most teen suicides are committed by rich kids." Kyoya said, frowning. I blushed. I didn't want to admit it, but I kind of had thought that. With the way Sempai and the twins always acted, though, could you really blame me.

"Never mind." I said, wanting to get back on topic. "You were saying?" I asked.

"Right… well, she's never thought that either of my brothers or I were good enough. She thought that if we took over the family business, it would fail. She tried to make us smarter, stronger. She had her own… unique way of doing that." Kyoya grimaced. "I suppose it probably had something to do with her alcohol problem, but that still doesn't excuse it." At first I didn't get it, but it suddenly dawned on me. Abuse. I thought back – there were times I noticed. I saw the bruises, but didn't think anything of it, didn't realize what they were. I put my head in my hands. I felt like such a bitch and an ass because I couldn't put 2 and 2 together.

Kyoya sighed again – I had a feeling this story was going to come with a lot of sighing and grimacing. "Well, I can't really go on without telling you something personal about myself. And the funny thing is, it feels weird to me because I've already told you." Kyoya made a noise that sounded something like a laugh, but a sad one. "Haruhi, this may come as a shock to you. It certainly did before."

"Stop beating around the bush and tell me." I said crossly. "I'm sure it's fine. We're friends, aren't we?" I asked, not actually sure the answer would be yes. Kyoya smiled.

"Haruhi, I'm gay." He was right. I was shocked, but only for a moment. The real world started to disappear as I was thrown back into a memory I didn't know I had…

"_Haruhi, I need to tell you something… I'm gay." I stared at him, not sure if the twins strange sense of humor was rubbing off on him or if he was serious. He was bent over in his chair, his head almost touching his folded hands. His shoulders shook and I realized he was crying. I didn't know what to do. I had never encountered a crying Kyoya and never thought I would. The shock mingled with the horrible feeling of total helplessness. "I j -just thought you needed to know." I reached out a tentative hand and rested it on his shoulder. Kyoya stiffened and looked up at me, tears staining his cheeks. _

"_It's fine." I said, smiling softly down on him. "Really, it's okay." A look of relief crossed his face. Obviously, he thought I was going to reject him or tell him that he was a bad person or something. I wasn't aware of having said anything that made it seem like I was against gays, so I don't know what would have made him think that. I was his friend, and there was nothing he could do short of murder that would change that. _

"_Well, now that we've got that out of the way." He said, hastily wiping away the tears that stained his cheeks. "There's only one reason I'm in the Host Club, entertaining girls." He opened his mouth to continue, but I had already guessed what it was. _

"_Tamaki." I said in a matter-of-factly way. He looked slightly surprised but also amused. He laughed and put his chin in his hand with his elbow resting on his desk, staring off into space. _

"_Is it really that obvious?" He asked, laughter in his voice. _

"_Well, not at first. I mean, if you hadn't told me you were gay, I probably wouldn't have figured it out. But if you told any other Host Club members, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be too surprised either." Kyoya thought about that for a moment before a sudden look of horror crossed his face and he looked back at me. Apparently, now that I knew about him, he wasn't bothering to hide his emotions from me. _

"_Tamaki… do you think he's guessed…?" He asked, fear in his voice. I almost wanted to laugh at that, but suppressed the urge. _

"_Sempai is too much of an idiot to have guessed. I'm sure he noticed something – that's probably where the whole 'Mommy' thing came from – but he hasn't put 2 and 2 together yet." I said, fairly certain that I was right. Then again, it was all too possible that Tamaki had figured it out and was just waiting for Kyoya to tell him himself…_

"I know." I whispered, still not sure if the sudden memory was real or just a strange dream I had. Kyoya looked surprised.

"Do you? I didn't know you had remembered that." He said, slightly accusingly. "Have you remembered anything else?" The image of a hand came up, the one that slapped me as someone yelled in the background. I debated whether or not to tell him about it, in case it was all part of some dream that didn't have anything to do with this.

"Well, there was one… yes, I remember a hand striking me and someone yelling. That's it, though." I said, my voice a little stronger than before. Kyoya stiffened a little bit.

"Ah, yes… we've reached that part of the story anyway, so I won't explain that directly. You'll probably figure it out.

"You were… helping me, I suppose. You wanted me to tell Ta—" He stopped, suddenly unsure.

"I remember that part, too. But that's all I know about that." I explained, hoping it answered the question in his eyes. Kyoya continued without responding.

"You wanted me to tell Tamaki about how I felt. As you might have guessed, I was more than a little against that particular idea. But, you convinced me, as you seem to have a gift at doing, and started 'coaching' me, I guess you could say, on how to come out to him.

"Mother thought we were dating, and she disapproved of you even more than she did of me, if that's possible. She told me to stop seeing you, and seeing as we weren't going out in the first place, I consented. Much to my surprise, it later turned out that when she said seeing, she meant associating in any way.

"You were visiting. She was drunk again. She came into my room and found us sitting together – meaning I was on one side of the room and you on the other, though, in her drunken rage, all she saw was us together. Somehow, she had acquired a baseball bat and carried it inside without anyone seeing it. When she saw us, well, I guess she's the kind of person who acts first and asks questions later. She came after me first. She hit me with the bat, probably aiming for my head, but missing horribly and hitting my arm over and over again – that's actually why I lost it. She caused so much damage it had to be amputated."

My hand covered my mouth, my eyes wide. I couldn't believe that anyone, even an alcoholic, could get drunk enough that they would try to kill their own child, but here was Kyoya, living proof. I tried to remember, desperately tried. I hated knowing that something so horrible had happened to him and I had just… forgotten. I felt like such a horrible person.

"Wait…" I said, cutting him off as a memory started to flood back to me. "I think… I think I'm starting to remember."

"_Kyoya!" came a slurred voice from the doorway. Kyoya's body went completely ridged and I whipped around to see his mother running at us, a bat held high above her head. She screamed as she ran. Before either of us could react, she swung the bat forward and it collided with Kyoya's arm with a horrible crack, the unmistakable sound of a bone breaking. I was in total shock, my eyes wide and my body frozen as Kyoya cried out in pain. It took a few more seconds for me to come back to myself. I ran screaming at his mother, tackling her from behind. I tried several times to pull her off, but each time she just pushed me off, sending me tumbling to the ground. Finally, after 4 or 5 tries, I slapped her. Right across the face, as hard as I could. I don't know what I had hoped to accomplish out of that, but it stopped her. She froze and turned to stare at me, bloodlust in her eyes as I tried to catch my breath. _

"_YOU LITTLE BITCH!" She screamed suddenly. Before I could even react, a hand swooped into my vision and struck me hard, hard enough so that I stumbled back from the force of it. _

"_No! Stop!" I heard Kyoya scream at his mother just as I turned back to face her. But I never saw whatever it was he wanted her to stop. _

"Oh… my… god." Was all I could think to say as I stared at Kyoya and the small piece of arm that was visible through his school uniform.


	7. Chapter 7

**Kami, it's been so long since I've posted. I've had such a hectic few weeks. I only started this next chapter a few days ago... *sigh* my school work has been keeping me from doing anything, along with my role play. Well, here it is FINALLY and hopefully it won't be to long until the next chapter. Remember to review! :D**

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><p>Haruhi's POV<p>

"I… I don't even know what to say. I can't believe it. She… but…" My voice started to trail off. I didn't know what to think, what to feel. Everything started to feel unreal as the world around me dropped away. The only things that existed right now were me, Kyoya, and this new memory. I couldn't think. I wondered, was this why Kyoya was so serious and got such good grades? He was afraid of what his Mom would do to him?

"I didn't think you'd take that part well." Kyoya said. "Yeah, that's the kind of house I grew up in. My father claims he didn't know. He's full of shit." I was surprised. Kyoya never cursed, though I suppose when you're divulging your life story to some girl who doesn't remember being friends with you due to an abusive mother, you're allowed a few swears. "There was never a moment in my life when I enjoyed being at home, and it was all because you never knew whether she was sober or not or what kind of mood she would be in because of her violent mood swings." It seemed like he was talking more to himself than to me at this point. It was a whole other side of him I hadn't seen… or had I? I couldn't really remember…

"Kyoya… I am so sorry. I can't even imagine how I could just forget something like that…" I said, pretty disgusted with myself at the moment, even though I knew I couldn't help forgetting. Suddenly a thought occurred to me. "Where is she now?" I asked, scared that he would tell me she was still home.

"Jail." Kyoya shot me a look of disbelief. "You can't think JCPS* would just let her go after the reports, can you?" I felt my face flush. I hadn't actually thought of that and it made me feel a little stupid. But there was still one question in the back of my mind, a question I didn't want to have to ask because it would make it look like I didn't actually care but still had to be asked.

"Why are you telling me?" I asked. "There must be a reason you decided to tell me of all people." I said, aware I sounded a little cruel, as though I thought he should've picked someone else to tell when I was actually a little flattered that the Shadow King had picked me to trust his family's secret to.

Kyoya laughed a cold laugh, but not a mean one. "I was waiting for you to ask that. The truth is my father had wanted us to be a couple. I haven't exactly told him that I'm gay and don't really plan to, so I just went along with it. We became better friends because of his trying to force us together, though, and I hadn't actually told you about my mother, but I did think you should know that I was gay since you had probably figured out why my father was forcing us together. You found out about her when – well, you know." This surprised me, yet it didn't. I knew what he was telling me was the truth because I remembered that we had been shoved together by his father, but I didn't actually remember us in his house together except for the day when his mom had beat him and he lost his arm. But still, it felt like something was missing, and it took me a minute to figure out what it was.

"What about Tamaki?" I asked, assuming he would understand what I meant. He opened his mouth to answer without any hint of surprise crossing his face, so I figured he had.

"I haven't told him. I knew he would flip out and I didn't want to put that kind of pressure on him. So I went to you instead. You have a cool head and don't freak out over the littlest of things, so you seemed like a much better option at the time."

"Will you ever tell him?" I asked.

"Yes, eventually. He's going to keep pressing me for details on how I lost it. I can't hold it back from him forever, and it'll be worse if he finds out the whole story about Mother from somebody else." He replied evenly, not understanding that time.

"That's not what I meant." Kyoya flinched slightly.

"Hmm? Really, Haruhi. He started a club to entertain women." He pointed out. "Do you really think he would accept my feelings, never mind return them?" He asked. I looked down. Kyoya was right, of course, like always. It was hard to believe that Sempai would care for Kyoya like that –

"Wait! What about the time he thought I was a boy but still wanted me to be a customer?" I asked, feeling triumphant that I had found a loophole. Suddenly I noticed that we had stopped moving. The car was parked in an abandoned parking lot in a section of town I didn't recognize, if we were even still in Tokyo. We had been talking for a long time now. I turned back to see Kyoya staring at me, eyebrows raised.

"Haruhi, contrary to popular belief, Tamaki does have some brain. He knew the club would lose money for turning away a customer. Even if that could mean something, you weren't exactly dressed very well." I rolled my eyes at that.

"Thank you. It's always nice to hear you look like a slob." I said sarcastically. I thought I saw a small smile at that before he caught himself and quickly corrected the blunder.

"Don't you see, though? I can't tell him something like that. He wouldn't know how to deal with it and that would cause a nightmare full of shouting and running around, destroying things. I get enough of that with the twin's antics and I'm not looking for more." He said. I couldn't read the expression in the tone, but his face looked almost sad. He had a right to be though, having convinced himself that the person he loved could never return his feelings.

"How will you ever know for sure if you never try? You say this like Tamaki can be read that easily. He may seem like an open book, but you should know better than anyone that his book is written in a foreign language." I tried, hoping a metaphor might convince him. I don't know what gave me that impression, but he just seemed like a metaphor-type of person. I immediately felt stupid for describing Kyoya as a metaphor-type when I couldn't ever remember him using one. Kyoya thought about that for a second.

"I can't deny that Tamaki does make some surprising moves sometimes." Kyoya said thoughtfully. My heart rose – I felt obligated right now to make something happy happen for him since, in an indirect sort of way, I sort of, kinda, almost caused Kyoya to lose his arm. I saw my chance to convince him and took it.

"Exactly. Anyone with eyes can see he idolizes you. If you told him you liked him, I'm not sure he could contain his enthusiasm." Kyoya stared at me doubtfully. _Damn it. I didn't just lose him, did I? _I thought, trying not to let what I was thinking show on my face.

"Now, I wouldn't go that far…" Kyoya said, not sounding entirely sure of his own words. My heart soared at that, eager to press on. I raised an eyebrow at his words.

"Really? So I just imagined him calling you Mommy and himself Daddy? And the twins and I are your children? Do you realize what that implies?" I asked, knowing that this would be the last piece of evidence I needed to swing him. I was absolutely certain that Tamaki did like him at least a little bit and that this was going to work out. I was determined to make it work too.

Kyoya sighed and sat back, staring out into space for a long moment. I could feel the suspense build up while I waited for a response. Finally, he leaned forward and started the car, pulling out of the parking lot and heading back towards the school.

"You had better be right about this." He said.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi, everyone! I'm really sorry about how long it's been, but if you read my profile (which I doubt any of you did) I had written that my Tech Week was going on and I hadn't even had time to start it. It's been a week since my play went up, but I've been really busy and haven't gotten on the computer to work on it. I finally got it finished though.**

**I got an anonymous review asking why, if the coupling wasn't Haruhi and Kyoya, why the characters was set as such. I'd like to point out for this person, and anyone else who was wondering, that just because the main characters were them, which is what the whole character thing is for, doesn't mean that they are going to end up as a couple. **

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><p>Haruhi's POV<p>

I was horribly nervous. I was confident in what I said to Kyoya about Tamaki liking him, but what if he wouldn't admit it? Or what if Kyoya decided not to go through with it? Of course, these were stupid worries. Tamaki never made any effort to hide what he was feeling. The best he could ever do was just to not tell anyone the whole story unless they directly asked. And Kyoya had set his mind on telling him. Kyoya always went through with things he decided were best even if he didn't think it would be pleasant

Kyoya stood in front of the door, just staring at it. He wasn't making any move to open the door. I prayed he was only thinking about how to go about saying it and not reconsidering the decision to tell him. I held my ground a few paces behind him, fighting two very conflicting urges; one too throw open the doors and push Kyoya inside and the other to sprint as fast as I could in the opposite direction. I was still debating which one of these to act on when he finally took a deep breath and opened the door and slowly walked inside. I cheered inside my head and tried to stay composed as I walked inside behind him.

"Ah, Kyoya, your back! But you've missed the rest of club—what is Haruhi doing with you?" Tamaki asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Nice to see you too, Sempai. Turns out it was nothing. We tried to get back in time to catch the last few minutes of club, but looks like we missed it." I responded, hoping Kyoya would jump in just then. I didn't want to drag this out. The nerves were eating me away inside and I didn't know how much longer I could sit here quietly.

"Tamaki, I need to talk to you. I'll drive you home after I drop Haruhi off." Kyoya cast a meaningful glance in my direction. I looked back, surprised. He wanted me to come along? I figured he was going to want to be alone with him, that it would be strange and awkward with me in the car too. I nodded though, not entirely willing but not wanting to seem strange. Tamaki beamed, but the twins looked suspicious.

"You know, whatever you want to say—" Hikaru started.

"—you can say in front of us."Kaoru finished. Hunny nodded and smiled at him.

"Yeah. We'll keep your secrets." Kyoya paled and I almost broke out laughing but forced myself to contain it. Hunny may be the oldest of us, but it still felt like talking to a child. No one wanted to have to explain something like Kyoya's homosexuality to him. Chances were, he wouldn't know what homosexuality was anyway and no one wanted to initiate that conversation.

"It's not that." Kyoya tried to shrug it off. "I just need to talk to Tamaki. The most convenient way is to drive him home, seeing as it's the end of school." The twins still looked suspicious, but a little less now that Kyoya was sounding more like himself. Still, I was thankful that I was going with them now or I would be bombarded with questions. Or was that why Kyoya wanted me to come in the first place? That did sound like him, and made me a little more comfortable.

"If you say so." The twins said in unison and went to sit on the couches. Kyoya looked over at Tamaki, obviously anxious to leave. Tamaki read this and nodded at him before turning back to the rest of the Host club.

"We're leaving now." Tamaki said and waved as we walked out the door. I walked just two paces behind them, trying to leave subtle hints I knew Tamaki would never pick up but not wanting to miss the conversation. I had to know that Tamaki wasn't going to reject him. I couldn't deal with something like that.

Nobody said a word until we were outside and in the middle of the parking lot. _Kyoya must be feeling paranoid about the twins, _I mused. I couldn't blame him, though. I would be too, if I were him. Actually, I was feeling a bit paranoid myself.

"Tamaki, about… what I wanted to talk to you about." Kyoya started as we climbed into the car. I opted to take the backseat, leaving Kyoya and Tamaki together in the front. Another hint that Tamaki, of course, didn't pick up. He didn't even seem to notice in the slightest. Kyoya glanced back at me uncertainly. I nodded, determined now. We were already here; there was no backing out now. Tamaki stared at him, waiting patiently. At least he had enough brain to realize that this was something Kyoya was having a hard time getting out, maybe from the way he couldn't meet his eyes, or how jittery he was.

"Tamaki, I want to ask you… what do you think about gays?" This was a sensible way to start the conversation. That way, if he answered with something Kyoya didn't like, he could stop there and make something up, like he was trying to recruit him for a gay rights thing or something like that. I watched Tamaki intently, waiting for his answer. Tamaki thought for a moment before answering.

"Gay people are still people. There's no difference. Just like there's no difference between black people and Asian people, there's no difference between gay people and straight people." Tamaki answered. "But maybe I'm only saying that because I'm pansexual and I can't possibly be prejudice against people who are very similar to me." He said casually. Honestly, I wasn't very surprised, but I still wasn't expecting it, if that makes any sense. Kyoya smiled genuinely, the Shadow King equivalent of jumping up and down for joy.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that because I'm gay." Tamaki looked at him with exactly the same expression I had, which was pure shock. Kyoya didn't act like the stereotypical gay so I had the feeling he was going to get that reaction from everybody. However, Tamaki recovered a lot faster than I did.

"Well, I wasn't expecting that. But I suppose I should've seen that coming." He laughed. He went quiet suddenly, like he does when he has something on his mind, something he wants to say but doesn't know if he should say it. Kyoya noticed this too.

"What is it, Tamaki?" Tamaki glanced up at him and then looked back down.

"This is going to make this a little awkward, but I'm going to tell you because you should know. The way I figured out I was pansexual was because… it was because I like you." Kyoya looked like Christmas had come early, but Tamaki didn't see it since he was still staring at the floor. He smiled at me in the mirror and I smiled back. _I have a feeling that the Shadow King is gone._ I thought. He was acting so emotional and like a real person lately. I was pretty sure he wasn't reverting back to the old Kyoya.

"You do?" He asked, positively ecstatic (which pretty much meant he had a twinkle in his eye. He was only still getting used to the whole emotion thing.). Tamaki nodded.

"Why do you think I pushed so hard to get you to start the Host Club? I wanted to spend more time with you." Tamaki answered his own question. He looked out of the corner of his eye at Kyoya and saw the look on his face. Before Kyoya could say anything, Tamaki had already taken in his expression and analyzed it. "Wait a minute… you… you don't like me, do you?" He asked, incredulous, like it didn't make sense that Kyoya could like him even when he had just said that he was gay.

Kyoya nodded. "That was the whole reason I wanted to talk to you."

"I thought… I thought you wanted to talk about the Host Club. I was scared you were going to quit." Tamaki was still awestruck, his voice quiet. If we weren't in a car, I would be dancing. But since we were, I settled for silently bouncing in my seat.

"Well, kind of. What are we going to do about that? I'm not comfortable with telling the whole school about me, especially since my parents don't know and it would get back to them if I did. That means that stopping the Host Club or dropping out of it would be difficult. But if we continue it, I'm living a bigger lie then I ever have been. So, I guess the question is, what am I going to do?" Kyoya said, his voice starting to get quiet too. The happy feeling I had was starting to evaporate as it hit me. This was a problem.

"I think that's for you to decide. If I tell you what to do, you're not doing what's best for you but what's best for me. I will tell you, though, if you don't want to tell people – and I don't blame you – then you probably shouldn't quit. It would raise some awkward questions." Tamaki responded. For once, he was actually speaking sense. Kyoya nodded.

"You're right. I don't want to quit anyway. Though, tomorrow, I'm telling everyone else." He cast a sideways glance at Tamaki. "If that's alright with you, of course. I feel like they need to know." Tamaki nodded. Even with the serious and slightly ominous conversation, neither of them could erase the smiles on their faces, and neither could I.

"Tomorrow, then."


	9. Chapter 9

**I have a chapter up in a reasonable amount of time! Wow! I think this is the first time ever! Aren't you proud of me? *beams* So, about this time in a story I like to predict how long I think it's going to take me to finish it - chapter wise, not time wise 'cause we all know how horrifying that amount of time would most likely be. *grins sheepishly* Let me think... let's say 7 or 8 more chapters, which would put the finished story at 16 or 17 chapters. So, there you have it. I'm going to try doing a longer one in the future... and Harry Potter fic I have coming up should be 31 or 32 chapters, if I've done my calculations correctly. Well, I'll stop boring you with my pointless babbling so long as you remember to review at the end of the chapter. **

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><p>Haruhi's POV<p>

I walked into my house after being dropped off, ecstatic beyond words. Dad was already home when I walked in, and he looked up at the inerasable smile plastered on my face and raised an eyebrow.

"What are you so happy about?" His face paled as an idea came to him. "It's not a boyfriend, is it?" I snorted at this.

"You know I couldn't date any guy at that school without revealing that I'm a girl." I said. "Well, it's about a boyfriend, but not mine." I said thoughtfully. I didn't bother to elaborate more, feeling Dad didn't really need to know, but of course he pressed for more details. I tried to skirt around actually telling him anything, but eventually gave in. Besides, Kyoya was telling the rest of the Host Club tomorrow, so he probably wouldn't care if my dad knew.

"Alright, alright. Sheesh." I said, staring at him apprehensively. "You're so nosy. Look, remember when Kyoya kept having me over his house?"

"You remember that?" Dad asked, looking surprised. I waved an impatient hand.

"I do now, but that's not the point. Anyway, turns out his dad was trying to get us together, but neither I nor Kyoya really noticed that. It should have been obvious, but I don't know, we just didn't figure it out. Anyway," I said, getting back to the topic at hand. "Turns out, Kyoya… well, he doesn't like girls." Dad didn't catch on at first.

"He should start getting used to them. He's going to have to get married someday – his father will probably make him." He said. I looked at him oddly.

"No, it's not that he has a childish look on dating, like he thinks it's gross." I said, unable to understand how Dad could be so stupid. "He likes guys. He's gay, Dad. Honestly. 'He should start getting used to them.' Wow." I said, rolling my eyes. Dad went red.

"Hey, look, for all the explaining you did, how was I supposed to know you meant he was gay?" He said sulkily. He became serious again. "He's gay, huh? I suppose he told you that because he had figured out what his old man was trying to pull." I nodded. That had been what I was thinking too.

"So, he's dating someone now?" He asked. "Is that why you're so excited? Though, I don't understand why you're excited about that – doesn't really affect you, does it?"

"Well, it kind of does, but that's not why I'm excited." I said. "I suppose I'm just feeding off his energy." I added thoughtfully. Now that I thought about it, it was a little illogical for me to be this happy about it, wasn't it? "Anyway, he's dating Tamaki." I picked the wrong moment to say that because Dad spit out the water he had been drinking all over his newspaper. He threw the paper aside.

"What? Tamaki is gay?" He said, astonished. "And I found him standing over you like he was about to molest you that one time, too." He said, leaning back against the wall. "Go figure." I blushed.

"He was not about to molest me, he tripped. How many times do I have to tell you that? And he's not gay – he's pansexual." I retorted. Dad met my eyes with a blank stare.

"He's what?" I thought about how to explain it before answering.

"Well, in my opinion, it's basically the same thing as bisexual." Another blank stare. "He likes both guys and girls, Dad." I spoke slowly, amazed that he didn't even know what bisexual was.

"Oh. So, why are you so excited about this?" He asked

"Well, for one it will get Tamaki off my tail about dating him – at least, that's what I assume he wants. He's never actually come out and said it, but you can just tell." I realized a bit too late that that statement wasn't really helping my case that he hadn't been trying to molest me that day. Dad's eyes narrowed and I rushed on. "But mainly I'm just really glad for him. He's liked Tamaki for ages and just been too afraid to ask him out." I shrugged. "You wouldn't think he was afraid of anything from looking at him, but turns out he has feelings too." I said. Dad thought about this.

"I suppose I'd be excited too." I smiled at him and glanced up at the clock which read 6:00. I jumped to my feet. "I forgot about dinner!" I exclaimed and rushed into the kitchen to throw together something quickly. My mind was drifting towards tomorrow. What would be the reactions of the twins? I didn't think they would mind too much – they were close enough that most people probably though there was an incest relationship between them.

But what about Mori and Hunny? Hunny's mind was still so childlike; I didn't think he would really understand the difference anyway. Though, there was also the possibility that he had matured to the point where he knew that marriage happened between a man and a woman, and so immediately assumed that was the only morally correct sort of couple. He could just as easily turn against them because of it. And Mori didn't seem like the kind of person who cared unless Hunny cared, so his opinion would depend on Hunny's.

I sighed as I stirred the vegetables and noodles in the pan, not really paying attention to what I was doing. I was too worried about what would happen to Kyoya and Tamaki the next day that trivial things like eating were pushed to the back of my mind. I supposed I was just going to have to wait and see. There was nothing else I could do at this point.

I took the finished stir-fry to the table and dished out two plates. I sat down to eat, suddenly quiet and thoughtful which was very different from how I had walked in. Dad noticed, I think, but he didn't say anything about it. We sat in silence, eating and thinking. I wondered briefly if he was dwelling on what would happen with Tamaki and Kyoya's relationship. The rest of the night was silent. I got into bed that night, not able to stop worrying about tomorrow. I had a bad feeling in my stomach and sincerely hoped I had just eaten to much.


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay, first off I would line to apologize for any bizarre typos. I just got a new iPod and autocorrect is being a pain. But I can't turn it off because I need it sonetimes! Also sorry its been so long since I updated. Been busy. I'm exhausted and I have school tomorrow so I think I'll make my a/u short for once on one condition - review please!**

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><p>I was a nervous wreck, although I knew I really shouldn't be. It should be Kyoya chewing right threw his pencil, not able to focus on a single word the teacher was saying. It should have been Tamski walking into people every 10 steps because he was so distracted. But they seemed to be totally fine, not feeling any stress what-so-ever.<p>

Well, that's how they appeared at least. Seeing him looking so calm helped to make me feel a bit calmer myself. I went to sit across fromchin at the table he was sitting at with his laptop, typing away as usual.

I watched him for a minute in awe. "Are you really not nervous at all?" I asked. He didn't answer, but simply shook his head and continued to clack away. Confused, I sat in silence for a second before asking,"Hey, Kyoya-sempai, are you alright?" I asked, the nerves returning.

"Please don't make me talk." came his strangled, slightly high-pitched voice. "I'm afraid that if I keep my mouth open to long, I may throw up." I wanted to comfort him, or at least try to, but was all to aware of Tamaki sitting on the couches not far from us and staring at the wall. I backed away from Kyoya and went to see if I could do anything for Tamaki. Kyoya waor probablyabets left alone for now...

I sat across from Tamaki and said hi, but I might as well have been talking to a doormat for all the attention he payed. He continued to glance obsessively fron the wall to his wristwatch and back again, muttering things like, "Fucking bastards, I told them to be early!" and "Where the fuck are they? They'd better show up soon, before I lose my nerve." Tamaki hardly ever swore, so seeing him like this woff odd. To anyone just walking by, he would appear to merely be bored, but this close up you could practicall feel the tension eminting from his spot on the couch. I hesitated before asking him if he was okay as he was looking murderous, a look that was even scarier on Tamaki. When I finally got it out, he looked surprised to see her there, as though shehadn't been their for a few minutes.

"Oh... Well, I suppose I'm just still nervous. You know I'm upset they haven't shown up yet when I told them to be early, yet I'm hoping and praying that something will happen and they won't be able to come so that I can put it off another day." He laughed a cold, mirthless laugh. "I'm just a coward, content to live my life hiding from the world."

"Your not a coward." I said with no hesitation, staring at him curiously. Tamaki-sempai, a coward? That was the farthest thing from the truth. "A coward is someone who gives up without a fight,ask done who doesn't see the poilpl trying unless they are absolutely sure they can win, right? Well," I said thoughtfully, trying to figure out how to put into words. "You told Kyoya-sempai how you felt, didn't you? You fought an inner battle with yourself to gather the courage to do that. Its harderdogfight with other people than with yourself, so that was even braver." I paused, wondering if I had managed to get my point across. Tamaki fixed me with an unreadable state before standing abruptly and going to sit next to Kyoya. He put a hand on top of his which startled him out of his trance and when he realized what Tamaki was doing, he tried to pull away, horrified.

"Tamaki, you idiot! What if someone sees?" Tamaki merely tightened his grip on the boy who was rapidly losing his reputation as the Shadow King.

"Isn't that the whole point? That people will know?" Tamaki asked pointedly. "Once they know what's going on they'll understand and it won't be weird. Kyoya resisted the urge to draw into a hug, stroke his soft blond hair and explain that wasn't how the world worked. He silently cursed himself for even thinking about doing that in school of all places and wondered briefly if he did his on purpose, acting so innocent and helpless on purpose because he knew that Kyoya would give him just about everything and anything he wanted like that.

I turned away as Kyoya gave in and leaned in closer to Tamaki to give them a bit of privacy. Also, my cheeks were slightly red and I didn't want them to see that. I was saved only a minute or so later when footsteps and muffled voices sounded flll the hallway outside.

"-don't see what the big deal is-"

"-just needed us to come into the club room?"

"-show us a new teaset or something-"

They burst into the club room and fell silent as though they thought we couldn't hear them through the walls and didn't know that none of them were taking this seriously, even Mori, since he did whatever Hunny did. The twins walked right into the center of the room as though they were he ones about to divulge their biggest secret to a bunch of teenagers who clearly thought that this was a waste of time that coups have been spent more productively like, say, beating the next level of that video game they were playing. I felt white hot anger spread through me and I had to sit on my hands and take deep breaths for a second while the anger surged away. Kyoya closed his laptop and took a deep breath. Tamaki, who had stood and was just about to start talking, immediately shut his mouth and sat down when Kyoya put a surprisingly steady hand on his shoulder.

Kyoya couldn't remember ever feeling this nervous, ever. Not even when he had told Tamaki because he knew that, on some level, Tamaki would always care for him. That was all he needed. And it was that thought that melted away his last bits of anxiety. He didn't need them to except him. If they told hi they never wanted to see him again, he was sure he would be okay if only he had Tamaki by his side, supporting him and cheering him on. And bearing this in mind, he started to speak.

"There's something I've been keeping fron you all. For a long time, I kept a secret from you that you should know because it involves the future of the Host Club." This certainly got their attention. All eyes were alert, each one of them hanging on his very words. Even Tamaki and Haruhi were listening rapturously. "The truth is... I-"

"You're in love, aren't you?" Hunny murmured, hugging Usa-chan tighter to his chest. "I can see it in your eyes." Kyoya merely stated in amazement. He had always known that Hunny was smarter than be looked, but was he so observent that he had already figured him out? Kyoya had thought he was better at keeping secrets then that.

"Kyoya? In love?" the twins asked on simultanious incredulous voices. They both appeared beind him a second later and, clapping him on both shoulders and saying, "So, who's the lucky girl?" Kyoya grinned one of his famous evil grins and caught Tamaki's wary look out of the corner of his eye. Without even blinking, he corrected, "Boy."

At first, the twins didn't seem to catch on. "Sorry, don't know a girl named Boy." Kaoru said after a moments thought.

"Ha, she's a girl named Boy..." his voice trailed off and became soft as he realized exactly what he meant. Kaoru was next to put two and two together, and Hunny had to repeat,"Girl named Boy." to himself before it sank in. Kyoya beamed and he looked like he was truely happy for once. The Shadow King finished off his chances of ever again being thought of as such by adding.

"And that boy would be..." he grabbed Tamaki's hand and helped him out of his chair. "Tamaki." Tamaki caught him as he stumbled when lifting Tamaki from the chair. His arms were now wrapped around his body, his hands resting on his lower back. Kyoya's arms were pinned to Tamaki, and his one full arm was curled up so that his fingers rested at the base of his throat. Not taking his eyes off of Tamaki's luminous violet orbs, he finished somewhat shakily,"Basically, I'm gay." he closed the distbreeze steepen himself and Tamaki as the other hosts watched, dumbfounded, as their Prince made out with the former Shadow King.


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay, I know what you're thinking,"What? Another chapter already?" yes it's been a while but i figured I owe you guys. First, for waiting so long to update last time and second for the autocorrect at the end of last chapter. Well, it was actually pretty funny. I have no idea how it happened, but it did. Autocorrect is even more screwed up on fanfiction, but this is the only sit's it happens on. Strange, huh? Oh right, you have a chapter to read. Well? Get on with it! And review, don't forget to review!**

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><p>I was probably the only one who wasn't in total shock. Hikaru and Kaoru just gaped openly, obviously not having expected Kyoya to have feelings. I rolled my eyes at them. Hunny had been the one to guess that Kyoya liked someone, but he didn't seem to have considered the possibility that it could be another guy. He stared as Kyoya broke he kiss, and Mori... Well, Mori did what he always did and just watched everything from the sidelines as though it was some mildly interesting TV program, though it did feel soap opera-ish right now so maybe that w as appropriate. Tamaki was surprised that Kyoya had just kissed him in front of everyone and Kyoya was surprised for the same reason. As usual, I was the only one who had kept my head on. I simply waited and watched as everyone gaped at each other. It was nearly a whole minute before Hikaru broke the silence.<p>

"So... You're gay? And you too, Boss? I wasnt expecting that."

"Yeah." Kaoru put in. "Wasn't it you who started a club to entertain girls?" Tamaki only laughed and Kyoya suppressed a grin.

"I'm not gay. I'm pansexual." This revelation was met with blank stares. I rolled my eyes again.

"It means be likes guys, girls, and transvestites." Tamaki nodded and looked impressed.

"How did you know that Haruhi?" I stared at him disbelievingly. It was pretty obvious how I knew about that.

"My dad is a transvestite. He belongs to an LGBTQIP." I explained. More blank stares. I was starting to think they were all a bigger bunch of idiots than I thought. I ppened my mouth to explain, but Kyoya beat me to it.

"LGBTQIP stands for Lesbien Gay Bisexual Transsexual/Gender/Vestite Questioning Intersex Pansexual. Many towns have them. They're support groups for people who fall into the above categories." No one was surprised that Kyoya knew this. After all, he knew everything and he was gay, so why wouldn't he? Everyone stood in thought. Kyoya didn't interrupt for a few minutes giving everyone time to mull things over. Finally, he cleared his throat and started to speak again, retreating back into his Shadow King persona. I'd come to realize that this was his natural defense system. So obviously he expected them to all reject him. I wondered briefly if he had tried to come out to other people and they had rejected him.

"I'd like to know where you all stand on this issue." He said, jerking them out of their thoughts. "As you may have realized, this could be detrimental to the Host Clubs future. I need to know where we are going to go from here."

"Honestly? It's going to take some getting used to." Without warning he swooped Kaoru into his arms in a way that was both suggestive and protective at the same time and shot a filthy glare. "Just stay away from Kaoru." He said in a mock jealous voice. Kaoru turned his head to face him and spoke softly.

"Don't get jealous. I'll never look at anyone but you..." Hikaru smiled tenderly.

"Really? You mean it?" He said even softer and more suggesively. I was getting pretty annoyed by now, but Tamaki and Hunny seemed to think it was amusing. Kyoya had summoned a clipboard from somewhere and was taking notes. This madness continued for a few minutes and by the time they stopped I was just about to forcefully pull them apart and get back to the task at hand. I had started out so nervous about how they would react, thinking they might reject Kyoya and Tamaki completely, and now I could see that they weren't even taking it seriously. I wasn' sure which one made me angrier. Finally, Kyoya decided this had gone on long enough and got back to the previous discussion.

"I don't mind. If you want to date a guy, who am I to stop you?" Kyoya fought a grin but couldn't keep it of his face. Tamaki didn't hide his happiness at all. He ran right over and hugged Kaoru, who seemed a bot uncomfortable with the situation but hugged him back all the same.

"I think its sweet! Like cake!" said Hunny's high soprano, giggling madly. Mori nodded and grunted in agreement. Of course, you never really knew what was going on in his head because he only voiced opinions that matched Hunny's. Otherwise, he lied about them.

I grinned. Everyone was okay with their relationship! No one rejected them. Of course, I saw now that Thinking that they would had been stupid of me. They were his friends, of course they accepted him. And it was hard not to accept Tamaki. As much as someone might want to hate him, it was impossible to. You couldn't help liking his buoyant energy and idiotic but amusing ideas. I knew he wouldn't have any trouble.

"What about you, Haruhi?" Hikaru asked. I only stared at him for a moment. I had forgotten that the others didn't know about my involvement in their coming out.

"Put it this way. If it wasn't for me, they wouldn't be dating." I responded. Tamaki surprised me by putting an arm around my shoulder.

"She's right. I don't think we would have ended up together if she knew how to mind her own business." He laughed. "I'm not complaining though." Kyoya gave him an odd look before chuckling himself. Hikaru looked vaguely surprised but he was the only one.

"Even if I hadn't, how could I have rejected them and still claim to accept my dad?" I pointed out.

"So... This doesn't mean your leaving the club, does it?" Kaoru asked. The idea seemed to have just occurred to the twins.

"You can't leave Kyo-chan!" Hunny protested, looking up at him with big sad eyes. Even if it had been his intention, he would have no choice but to stay now. No one could resist Hunny pleading.

"That wasn't my intention, no. I planned to continue my Host Club duties. Besides," Kyoya pushed his glasses up his nose. "This club would go under without me." Tamaki pouted at this.

"Are you calling us useless, Mommy?" He asked.

"Yes. I am." he replied. Tamaki pouted more, but it was obviously faked as I could see a grin just under the surface. Kyoya must have seen it too because he grinned back.

"So, you're just going to pretend none of this is going on and keep taking customers?" Hikaru asked. Kyoya nodded.

"I couldn't tell the ladies; we already have a brotherly love act. If we told them about Tamaki and I, they would expect us to do an act together. We would have two of the same acts and would sacrifice two original ones. This would mean a drop in customers." I just stared at him.

"Do you only think about money?" I asked.

"No, I think about Tamaki sometimes too. And food." I couldn't tell if he was joking or not, although joking was out of character as well. Everything Kyoya did now a days was out of character. I searched his face for an explanation, but he had turned to look at the door, where the patter of feet and the muffled sound of voices came, making the room go deathly quiet as we took our places. This had turned out to be an odder day than I thought it would be... But I wasn't so sure I minded. It was funny, at least.


	12. Chapter 12

**Here is the next chapter! It hasn't been very long this time, has it? I hope you enjoy it! For once, I have no reason to waste your time with a long authors note and it makes me sad. Oh well. Just write me a whole lot of nice reviews and I'll feel better. :) Sorry that this is such a short chapter but the ones next should make up for it. I plan on... Well all of them from this point out should be long save maybe one. We'll see. Anyway, read, review, enjoy and all that good shit.**

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><p>Kyoya had changed a lot over the past few weeks. I realized. He had gone from he Shadow King - unable to express his feelings and using other people - to a regular person. He smiled genuinely. He laughed. He made jokes. He talked about and debated his interests. The only way to explain such a dramatic change that had only just started when he opened up to me about his sexuality was Tamaki. He had taught Kyoya to be able to trust others and not have to lock himself up, hiding from the world. And, in return, he had taught Tamaki how to stay calm. He didn't flip out as much anymore. He was able to think rationally - when it was important, at least. He had learned not to wear his heart on his sleeve and how to protect himself. They were good for each other. I smiled as I sat at the lunch table and watched them talk and laugh, every once in a while giving the other a pat on the hand under the table or a meaningful look. I hadn't realized I had been staring until Hikaru waved his hand in front of my face.<p>

"Hello, Earth to Haruhi!" he called and I blushed. Kyoya raised an eyebrow at me and snorted but tried to hide it. His didn't do much for the spreading heat in my face. Tamaki only laughed.

"Spacing out, I suppose? You didn't mean to stare at us? What were you daydreaming about?" he teased. I promptly leaned forward and punched him on the shoulder.

"Shut up Sempai. You know it's not like that."

"And even if it was," Kyoya added, "I'm gay, so she's out of luck."

"Hey, maybe she was staring at me." Tamaki said indignantly.

"In that case, she's dead." I was pretty sure he was joking, but I scooted my chair back a bit just in case. Hikaru and Kaoru laughed.

"You crushing on the Boss, Haruhi?" Hikaru asked playfully, elbowing me in the side.

"That's just sick. You know he's taken." Kaoru said, shaking his head mournfully. "Stop chasing fantasies." I blushed again and reached around Hikaru to cuff Kaoru on the side of the head.

"Shut up, will you." I said. I tried to look cross but I could tell I had failed miserably when everyone just grinned. I sighed and pushed my food around on my plate. "So what are we doing for club this afternoon?" Tamaki shrugged.

"Nothing special." I poked at my food some more. "Everyone's going to my place afterwards, though." I looked up, confused.

"Why?" Tamaki rolled his eyes.

"Well obviously we're going to come out to my parents and plan to come out to Kyoya's." Kyoya stared at him.

"Why wasn't I informed of this?" he asked. "Don't you think I should havel been told that I was coming out to my parents?"

"Come on Kyoya! You have to!" Tamaki said with a whine. Kyoya shook his head vehemently, and if I hadn't know him better, I would have said there was a trace of fear in his eyes. But that was impossible. Kyoya didn't get scared.

"Tamaki... You don't understand. My dad... You don't know him like I do." Tamaki brushed this off.

"If you keep putting it off, he'll end up finding out from someone else." he pointed out. "That wouldn't end well." Kyoya opened his mouth to protest, but he knew it was futile. Tamaki had decided, and nothing but nothing put Tamaki off when he had decided something. Kyoya looked down at the table and clenched his fist, as though having an internal battle. Finally, he gave in and threw his hand in the air.

"Alright fine." he said, defeated. "But if this goes badly it's on your head, Tamaki." Tamaki grinned at him and looked like he was about to hug him, but opted for the safer option of giving his hand a quick squeeze.

"So it's decided! After club today, everyone follow me home."

"Why do we all have to go?" Kaoru asked.

"Yeah, I would have thought you would want this to be a private thing." Hikaru added.

"For moral support." Tamaki said as though this should have been obvious. "You're all expected to come, too."

"Where are we going, Tama-chan?" asked Hunny as he walked up to the table, rubbing his eyes. Mori followed right behind him.

"Where've you been? Lunch is almost over!" Hikaru asked. The twins stood and went to stand next to Hunny.

"I was taking a nap. So what are we doing?"


	13. Chapter 13

**This chapter is three times the length of my usual chapters AND it's only been maybe two days since I updated. That more than makes up for my pathetically short last chapter. Next chapter should be long too. Wait, didn't I already say that the other chapters woulinger longer? Well invade you forgot, now you know. Don't forget to review, especially for this chapter! I tried to make it obvious that everyone was a bit nervous without restating too much of what's already been said. Hopefully I didn't leave too much out or put too much in. Let me know! Now go read while I take a nap.**

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><p>Tamaki's POV:<p>

I wasn't sure what was going to happen today. I was almost entirely sure that my father would accept that I was pan and with Kyoya, but there was this nagging bit of my mind that kept repeating my worst fears. What of he rejected me? What if he told me that he didn't love me anymore, that I was disowned and he never wanted to see me again? I tried to block out this part of my brain, but it was always there, quietly whispering horrible thoughts in my ear.

What if he accepted that I was pan, but didn't accept that Kyoya and I were... Were we dating? My heart gave a little leap at this thought and succeeded in distracting me until Kyoya walked up.

Club activities had ended and we would be leaving for my house in only a few minutes. Funny, it had seemed as though club had only started 10 minutes ago, but time had a way of speeding up when you were dreading something. I hadn't realized I had been dreading it, but it suddenly hit me that nothin would please me more than to just call this all off. But no, I had to do it or I would never get the courage to do so again. Kyoya sat next to me on my left hand side so that he could easily reach over and grab my hand. I noticed that Kyoya had retreated back into his Shadow King persona all through club, even with me. He must have been even more petrified than I was.

"Are you as nervous as I am?" he asked quietly so that none of the other club members could hear.

"Probably even more so. It's my dad we're telling, after all." I gave his hand a little squeeze and he squeezed back.

"How do you think you're dad will react?"

"I don't know, honestly." I said slowly. "I don't think he'll be against it, but... Well, I just can't be sure." Kyoya nodded.

"I don't think my dad will be happy. He had his heart set on my marrying Haruhi, if you can believe it." I could. My father had hinted at the exact same thing. "Though seeing as I'm not going to take over the company, I don't see why he would care, really." He sighed. "That's just how he is though." I hesitated before leaning in and giving him a quick kiss.

"Try not to worry so much." I advised. I gave his hand another squeeze before standing up and taking a deep breath.

"Alright men." I said, trying to sound braver than I felt. "Let's go."

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><p>Me, Kyoya, and Haruhi rode in my car while the twins and Hunny and Mori went in Mori's car. Kyoya, though still hiding behind his Shadow King persona when we walked out the doors instantly dropped the façade as soon as we got in the car and shut the doors behind us. Kyoya's head fell into his hands, elbows on his knees.<p>

"Last chance to reconsider, Tamaki." he said, clearly hoping I would end it all here. I shook my head firmly.

"No, I'm doing this. We're doing this. It has to be done sooner or later and I'd rather get it out of the way instead of trying to hide it until they somehow find out by accident." Kyoya studied me for a long moment before shaking his head and sighing, reaching behind him to grab his seat belt.

"I don't know why I let you rope me into your crazy schemes." he muttered. I grinned. Haruhi's cellphone went off and she flipped it open.

"This is a really long text full of swears, but long story short, they want to get going before, quote, 'we all effing die of effing old age, you little sons of... Female dogs.'" she closed the phone. "Of course, it was a lot more profane than the version I just read you, but you get the point." I chuckled, happy for any sort of distraction from the ominous task ahead. I turned the key in the ignition and backed out, Mori right behind me. I reached over and turned the radio on.

"You don't mind, do you?" I asked. "I always drive with the radio on. It's calming." I explained. I recognized the opening bars to an American song that I loved and turned up the volume a bit. "I set out on a narrow way many years ago. Hoping I would find tue love along the broken road." I sang along. "You sing to Kyoya! You know this song, don't you?" I was hoping to distract him a bit, but he only looked at me.

"Well, yes, I know the song, but..."

"Oh come on!" I chided. "Sing with me! Every long lost dream led me to where you are." I started. After a minute, Kyoya sighed and joined in rather reluctantly. Because this was a foreign car and I was sitting on Kyoya's left and therefore couldn't hold his hand, I settled for resting my hand on his knee instead. He reached over and put his hand on top of mine, though I'm not sure he even realized he had done it. Haruhi watched us from the back, looking unusually smug but happy all the same.

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><p>We reached my house to quickly. I had managed to rope Kyoya into singing every song that came on. He had a nice voice but refused to believe when I told him so, saying that I only said that because I felt obligated as his boyfriend. I was insanely happy at being called his boyfriend by him and was only actually there enough to plant a quick kiss on his cheek before getting out of the car.<p>

"So what's the plan? Are you just going to burst in and say, 'Hey Dad. Guess what? I'm having a homosexual relationship with my best friend!' or are you going to use tact for once?" Hikaru asked, a playful grin on his face. Haruhi cuffed him on the head and scowled while I merely laughed.

"I was planning on using tact, actually. Pretend we're having a study group and me and Kyoya will casually go downstairs to grab a drink and then deliver the news. We'll come back upstairs to tell you how it went and hopefully we can just hang out for a while." the amount of calm I was able to say this with surprised even me. But then again, I was very good at hiding my emotions when I wanted to. "The trick is to say it as though I was just commenting on the weather. Say it like it's the most ordinary thing in the world and it won't hit as hard when it sinks in. I hope." Kyoya stared at me incredulously.

"You hope? Well, it's nice to know you know what you're doing." he said, his voice only slightly high pitched, but other than that nothing betrayed his true emotions. Though if you looked closely, you could almost see a bead of sweat on his forehead and his eyes darting around. It seemed that he had a similar defense system to mine - lock up all your emotions and hide them away. It was strange to see him like this again, especially since he'd been staring to open up more ever since he came back to school and even more so in the few weeks we had been together. He must have been a nervous wreck inside. I wondered how much worse it would be when it came time to tell his own father. I didn't even try to say something to make it better; chances were I would only make it worse. Instead, I put a casual arm around his shoulders so I could still comfort him but it wouldn't look strange to anyone looking out the window. How bad was his father? Or was he just afraid he would be letting him down?

"It's now or never." I said and steered Kyoya in the direction of the door. I could have sworn I heard him mutter something about "prefer never, thank you very much." but I ignored it and kept walking, the rest of the club not far behind.

"I'm home!" I called as we stepped inside. A young maid came around the corner and welcomed me home.

"Oh, and you brought friends!" she said, smiling in what was an obviously flirtatious way at Haruhi. I grinned at the image of what the girls face would look like if she found out she had been hitting on another girl.

"We'll be in my room, studying." I said casually. Then,"Is my father home yet?" the young maid nodded.

"Yes sir. He's in his study. Should I give him a message?" I shook my head.

"No, I'll stop by and talk to him later." If he was home in his study he probably didn't know that I was home. So I could go whenever I liked and tell him then and pretend we had just gotten in. No maid would be stupid enough to say anything if they had any brains at all.

We all went to my room and made sure the door was shut and no one was eavesdropping before speaking. Kyoya sat in a chair and gazed at the ceiling, not very involved in the conversation. The rest of us sat around the table, discussing it.

"Maybe you should go now, Boss." Hikaru reasoned. "If you wait a long time before going to see him, it'll look like you don't trust him and had to think about whether or no you wanted him to know."

"But isn't that what happened?" Hunny asked.

"Yeah, but he doesn't need to know that. He probably doesn't want his son to think he has to hide things from him." Kaoru explained.

"On the other hand," Haruhi said thoughtfully, "If he does wait a while before going to see him, the fact that it's showing that he thought about it before telling him could be a good thing. It tells his father that he thinks things through instead of jumping in head first." she reasoned. "Maybe then he would be able to accept their relationship because Tamaki thought things through." Hikaru shook his head.

"You don't get it. That's not how a parent is going to see things at first glance. All he'll see is mistrust."

"But he's a business man. He knows the value of thinking things through before reacting and seeing that his son also does should help, shouldn't it?" she argued.

"Haruhi's got a good point." I said. "He's a rational thinker, just like she said." Hunny shook his head.

"I agree with Hika-chan. He's just going to be upset that you didn't come to him sooner. He's a parent before he's a business man."

"I don't think so." I said quietly. "I think his job comes first to him."

"You're just trying to put this off. Better to do it now, get it off your chest." Kaoru said gently. "If you start procrastinating now, you'll just keep putting it off and putting it off until he ends up finding out from someone else." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. While it was true that I wanted to put this off, I did see the sense behind what they were saying. Even Haruhi looked as though she was swaying.

"Kyoya? What do you think?" he looked over at me a d sighed.

"Honestly, I would love to put this off for as long as I could. But they do have a point. It would be bad if he heard it from someone else." He thought for a second. "As much as I hate it, we might as well get it over with." I nodded and stood up.

"Wish us luck." Hunny wrapped his arms around my waist and the twins patted us both on the back. Haruhi gave us an encouraging smile. I tried to smile back but it probably came out more pained then anything so I turned around and grabbed Kyoya's hand, leading him towards the door.

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><p>I knocked on the door of my father's study as soon as I approached it, giving myself no time to reconsider. Both Kyoya and I took deep steadying breaths before opening the door when my father called out, "Come in." I closed the door behind us. I realized I was still holding Kyoya's hand, but father still hadn't turned around and didn't look as though he was planning on it so I gave it a squeeze before letting it go.<p>

"Father, we need to talk to you." I had expected him to turn around at this, but he didn't.

"'We'? Who is this 'we'?" he asked.

"Kyoya and I." I was aware that my voice was shaking a bit. I ignored it in hopes that it would go away. Dad finally turned his chair so that he was facing us.

"What do you need to talk to me about?" he asked, motioning for us to sit down in two green chairs in front of his desk he used to receive visitors. We crossed the room and sat. Kyoya looked much calmer than he had only minutes before. I supposed he needed to let himself be shaky and nervous for a while so that he could keep his cool now.

"Well..." I hesitated for only the slightest second. This might not have ended up how I had hoped, just running into him and spitting it out before I could second guess myself, but that was no reason to change the plan entirely. Just act like it's not a big deal, as though it's every day your only son tells you he's dating another guy. "I just thought you should know that we - that is to say Kyoya and I - are together." I said quickly. I tried to keep my face blank and a quick glance at Kyoya told me he was doing the same, although his body became a bit tenser. My father stared into my eyes as though he was trying to see into my soul before sighing.

"Your mother has a hunch. She said... She said she was sure you liked both boys and girls. She could tell by watching you play at the park. So, is that how it is?" I nodded, not bothering to correct him on that issue. I wasn't even sure he knew people dressed as the opposite sex because they wanted to and I didn't want to have to get into that. Not today, anyway. He turned to Kyoya. "And you?" he asked. He didn't specify what he was talking about, although it was obvious.

Kyoya shook his head. "No sir. I've known I was gay for a long time now." he answered evenly. He hadn't relaxed yet; it seemed that my father had accepted me, but whether he would accept us was another matter. He nodded and stood, gazing out the window at the grounds below.

"I see. And... You're happy, Tamaki?" he asked. Confused, I nodded slowly.

"Yes, I am." I answered. He turned to face me with what must have been an attempt at a smile. He didn't do it often enough for me to be sure.

"Well, that's all that matters." he said. Kyoya let out a breath at the same time I did. I hadn't even realized I had bee holding it. I grinned at him and stood.

"Thank you." he sat back down in front of the window at his work desk.

"You two have studying to do, correct? Go on, then." I bowed and walked out of the room, Kyoya close behind me. I made it about 3 feet before I could no longer contain my enthusiasm. I whipped around and grabbed Kyoya and pressed my lips to his rather forcefully. He made a small noise of surprise but didn't protest, instead kissing me back. I put my hands around his neck and pulled him closer while Kyoya's hands ended up around my waist. I hadn't even noticed that a maid had come upstairs until I heard the clicking of heels running back down them. I pulled away and watched as she retreated quickly and ran out of sight. I burst out laughing, leaning against the wall for support. Kyoya smirked and snorted, his hand covering his mouth and turning away, trying not to laugh at the poor girl. It was a whole minute before I had gotten control of myself again and could stand without support. I grinned ear to ear at Kyoya who gave me a small smile.

"We did it." I said before leaning in for another quick kiss and grabbin his hand to pull him towards my room so we could tell the others the news.

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><p><strong>Yes, in this story Tamaki is a fan of American music. I couldn't think of any Japanese songs to use and I didn't want to look it up. I was going to use something more up my alley, such as Skillet, but I figured it would take away from the romance aspect to have them singing rockalternative music. So you got stuck with God Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts, one of the few artists who aren't metal/rock/alternative/jpop that I actually like. Deal. :P I quite obviously do not own the song, so I'm not even going to bother with a disclaimer. Even though that kind of was one. **


	14. Chapter 14

**4 times my usual length! This is officially my longest chapter yet. I hope I can keep this up because I like knowing that I can write long chapters too. So this is the Kyoya chapter! Actually, I think the rest of this will be Kyoya's POV. I may have amother Haruhi's POV but maybe not. I don't know. I guess we'll see. Enjoy the chapter, review, all the usual stuff. And if anyone here knows the author who goes by the penname Moonsign, I'd appreciate any news about whether or not they're dead because they haven't updated since August and Casting Moonshadows is my favorite fanfiction ever. And if Moonsign is reading this, which I severely doubt but will pretend like I'm a popular enough writer for them to know about, you need to update! So yeah. I'll stop talking now.**

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><p>Kyoya's POV:<p>

If I was nervous last week when I had to come out to Tamaki's dad, it was nothing to how I was feeling now. I was quite literally physically ill. I had the worst headache and my stomach wasn't feeling that great either, but I tried to ignore it. The last week had been nice. Brightened by our success with the headmaster, I had completely forgotten about my father and just spent my time enjoying Tamaki's presence and indulging him in his odd commoner obsession. But now that the day was upon us, all the dread I had been feeling last time had multiplied 10 fold and dumped itself on top of me. Tamaki seemed relatively unaffected. He had been the same way with his father, and I just couldn't understand it. I supposed it was Tamaki's trusting nature that was giving him so much courage where mine was failing horribly.

I don't know how I made it through club activities, but somehow I found myself escorting out the last of the visitors and collapsed onto the couch, my head in my hands, rubbing my temples in a fruitless effort to stop the pounding. Haruhi sat next to me, but said nothing for a few long moments.

"Nervous?" she asked quietly. I chuckled mirthlessly.

"I was nervous when we told the headmaster, Haruhi. I'm not sure what nervous times 10 is, but I'm that right about now." I said. She looked down at her lap.

"You could always tell him no, you know." she said.

"Deny Tamaki something he wants?" I said in a mock-incredulous voice. "I obviously have no willpower when it comes to him and you suggest I deny him something?" it was true. I couldn't help but give Tamaki whatever he wanted. I supposed it was a side effect of being a love sick fool. Haruhi laughed.

"Okay, so maybe that unrealistic." she thought for a moment. "What is it that your scared of, exactly?" The question caught me off guard. I blinked and looked down at my hands, thinking. What was it that I was scared of?

"I guess... His rejecting me, I suppose." I said quietly. I hated admitting it, but Father's support really was my weak point. "I've spent my whole life trying to prove I'm worth his time and if he rejects me because of this it will ruin everything I've worked for." I looked up now, at the ceiling. I wondered if what I was saying made any sense to someone like Haruhi, who hadn't grown up in a world where she constantly had to prove herself. "I wouldn't know what to do with myself after something like that." she nodded. At that moment, a hand rested on my shoulder, gently massaging it. I looked up and saw Tamaki, who I hadn't heard approach. I wondered if he had heard any of our conversation, and hoped he hadn't. I didn't want to make him feel guilty. While I wasn't exactly happy about any of this, I would do just about anything to put a smile on his face.

"Ready to go, love?" I sighed and stood up slowly.

"As ready as I'm going to get." I responded. Tamaki smiled and ran his hand down my arm, grabbing my remaining hand and lacing his fingers in mine.

"I know this is scary, but know this: no matter what happens, Kyoya, I love you. And it's better that he knows instead of you constantly have to worry about hiding it." I smiled and nodded. I knew Father wasn't going to accept me being gay. I hated it and I wished that I could tell myself that he would be okay with it, but I couldn't. I still feared his rejection knowing this, but I tried to steel myself against it, prepare myself for the inevitable. It was going to hurt, and I really wasn't sure where I would go from there, but the fact that I knew it was going to happen and prepared for it hopefully would help. But I didn't have to tell Tamaki any of this. He was so sure everything was going to be fine, and he hadn't believed me when I had said it the first time, although I wasn't exactly forceful when I said it either, and if it were me, I wouldn't have believed me. I couldn't really blame him.

We started down the hallway, the other hosts walking ahead of us. They joked and laughed, but it was strained, forced. I wondered if they were worried for us, and the thought made me smile. It was nice to know that someone besides Tamaki cared about what happened to me.

As we walked down to the car, all my nerves suddenly seemed to drop away, and I didn't understand it. Was it because I had accepted what was going to happen? No... No, that wasn't it. I simply... Didn't care. I didn't care what he thought of me, what he did to me, whether or not he told my brothers, what they thought, none of it mattered. All that mattered was that I was happy with the life I was leading and if they didn't like it they didn't have to be a part of it. I didn't care. Their opinions didn't matter. I felt elated, excited, amazing. I was free of them. No longer would I bother trying to live up to the expectations of me because it wasn't worth losing my happiness. They weren't worth it. Even though we were out in the open, I grabbed Tamaki's hand and leaned against him. He was surprised but didn't push me away. Instead, he held my remaining right hand in his right and put his arm around my shoulders, hugging me closer. He lifted my fingers to his mouth and let them rest there. If anyone besides the other hosts had been in the parking lot they would have been quite surprised, but there was no one, although it wouldn't bother me if there had been someone else there. I closed my eyes and let Tamaki guide me to the car. This was my happiness - Father wouldn't take that away from me.

* * *

><p>I walked boldly into my house, full prepared for what I was about to do. I knew that this should scare me as much as telling the headmaster, Tamaki's father, should have, but I really didn't care. Did this mean that I felt more compassion for a man who wasn't related to me at all then for a member of my own family? I realized that yes, I did. I also realized that I was sort of jumping to conclusions by just assuming that my father wouldn't accept who I was and would cast me out, but I was sure I was right and that there was no reason for me to feel guilty about caring about someone else's father more than I did him.<p>

I turned to Tamaki. "Please, be prepared for what may happen. My father..." I searched for a way to explain to him what Father was like. "My father is not an understanding man." I settled for. "It's not entirely likely that he'll be okay with us. Or more specifically, me." I said, trying to be gentle. Tamaki put a hand on my shoulder, a sympathetic look in his eye that told me he still didn't believe this. His child-like mind couldn't fathom a parent that didn't love their child no matter what.

"It'll be fine, Kyoya. I'm sure of it." I held back an impatient sigh. Obviously, Tamaki didn't understand and I could probably spend an eternity here and he still wouldn't get it. The only way to prove it was to show him. I pinched the bridge of my nose and pushed up my glasses. Might as well get this over with.

"Well, I suppose we should go get this over with." I said, crossing my arms. Hikaru and Kaoru started towards the staircase.

"We'll wait in your room, shall we?" he said in a devious voice. He and Kaoru slunk away, suspicious grins on their faces, and Hunny and Mori followed. I stopped Haruhi and said quietly,

"Please make sure they don't destroy anything." I said. Haruhi laughed and nodded.

"Sure, Sempai." she winked. "Good luck." I tried to smile and she jogged off after the others. I turned to Tamaki.

"Well, let's go." A maid appeared by my side out of nowhere and I started.

"Oh! Welcome home, sir. Is there anything I can get for you?" she asked. I remembered this girl. The young Chinese maid was overly peppy and eager to please. She may be hard to get rid of.

"No, I'm alright, thank you." I said, and turned away, hoping she would get the message. But she just ran around to face me again, not even slightly put out.

"Are you sure? I could get you a snack, a drink, a newspaper, a book-" I waved her away impatiently, becoming annoyed. Why couldn't she just take a hint?

"No, really, I just need to talk to my father." the young maid looked crestfallen at the lost opportunity, but nodded.

"Yes, alright then. Your father is in his study." she shuffled away and I sighed, putting my head in my hands. Once the girl was out of earshot, Tamaki burst out laughing.

"Kyoya, that was hilarious!" he choked out. Despite the lingering annoyance, my lip twitched into a half smile.

"She can be quite troublesome, even though she means well." I looked over my shoulder at the place where she had just stood not even a minute ago. "We should get to Father's study and get this over with." I said, moving in the direction of the staircase. Tamaki's hand flew out and caught my shoulder, turning me to face him where I saw a look of worry and a bit of frustration on his face.

"Why are you so determined to believe that you're father is going to cast you out for being gay?" be asked. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. He just didn't get it.

"Tamaki... Not everyone has a parent like yours. My mother is an alcoholic and most likely has several mental diseases." I started. Tamaki inturrupted.

"Mine is missing." he pointed out.

"But at least yours loved you." I retorted. "Mine just wanted to point out my faults and how bad I was. She did it to all of us, really, but mostly to me." Tamaki seemed appalled by this, as though he had never even considered the fact that a mother wouldn't love her child unconditionally. He probably hadn't before now. "She would only use my sexuality against me. My father," I continued before Tamaki could make any more remarks, "cares about appearances. Most people are against gays. If he has a son who is gay, people will look down on him, assume he went wrong in raising me. He can't have that. So I would have to go." Tamaki had turned a faint shade of green. I felt a bit bad about dumping all this on him, but he had to learn someday, so why not today? I turned back around. "Let's just go tell him and leave before he can throw anything heavy at me." this was only half a joke. I didn't think he would actually throw anything at me, but I wouldn't be able to stand the way he was going to look at me after this for very long and just wanted to get in and get out.

Tamaki and I climbed to the third story where all the offices and studies and such were. My fathers was the one to the left of the north stair, 3 doors down. I stood in front of it for a long moment before sighing and knocking quickly before reaching across myself to grab Tamaki's hand and give it a quick squeeze. The nerves were back.

* * *

><p>"Father, I - we have something to tell you." I started slowly. His eyes seemed to bore into my soul; I was unnerving, the way he could make you feel as though he knew everything that was going through you're mind, that you had no secrets. At a time like this it should have made me calmer, logically speaking. But it only made it worse. Much, much worse.<p>

"Oh?" he said. "What is it, Kyoya?" he was still trying to be fatherly. He was also still failing miserably.

"I've known something about myself for a while now." I said, thinking what a miracle it was that I wasn't stuttering from nerves. Hell, it was a miracle that I was still capable of coherent speech. "And, in light of recent... happenings, I think it's time that you knew." the next part came out in a rush. "Father, I'm gay and dating Tamaki Suoh." I stood still and waited for his reaction. Father drew in a sharp breath and removed his glasses, looking down and the table and rubbing his temple. It was what he did when he was disappointed in someone. I had known what the reaction would be, even convinced myself that it didn't bother me, but it still stung just a bit.

"Kyoya... You're sure you're making the right decision? Being gay?" This was even worse. I felt a small flame of anger light in my chest.

"It's not a choice." I said coldly. Tamaki, who had been silent and still up until this point, shifted uncomfortably. Could he feel the growing tension in the air too?

"Kyoya..." he said again. "Kyoya... Dammit, you know how I feel about this Kyoya!" he said, shouting suddenly and banging his fist on his desk. "I can't allow this! You know what this would do to my reputation!" I nodded, attempting to stay calm even though the anger was boiling under the surface, threatening to explode. Who did he think he was? Did he actually expect me to make myself unhappy just to save his precious reputation? Was that what he was asking me to do?

"Yes, I do know. I know that you think I'm disgusting and I know that you care more about what others think of you then you're own son." his face softened and his shoulders relaxed.

"Kyoya, that's not what I was trying to-"

"No! No, it is what you were trying to say. You want me to sacrifice my own happiness for yours. Well, I won't do it anymore. I don't owe you anything." Tamaki put a hand on my shoulder. I looked back at him in surprise, but he wasn't looking at me. He was giving my father a death glare. I supposed he finally understood the kind of family I was from.

"With all due respect, if you can't at least try to understand Kyoya and respect him, then I can't try to understand or respect you. I think," he said, giving me a meaningful glance and ignoring the shocked sputtering coming from my dad's mouth. "that we should go now." he grabbed me by the elbow and pulled me out the door before I could protest. He walked quickly down the hall, picking up speed until we got to the staircase, when he suddenly stopped.

"Tamaki?" I said, finally able to do more than just gape.

"I didn't want to believe you." he said, quiet but obviously furious.

"What?" I asked, startled.

"I didn't want to believe you when you said... That you're father wouldn't accept you... I wanted to think you were just nervous... Exaggerating..." In a very quick move, he whipped around and pressed his lips to mine. I made a small noise of surprise but didn't resist. He reached out and grabbed a fistful of my hair, pulling me closer and deepening the kiss. I couldn't think, could only react. I kissed him back, one arm winding around his neck and the other simply resting on his shoulder because I couldn't wind it around him, and he wound his remaining arm around my waist. I felt my back hit the wall even though I hadn't noticed us moving backwards, but I didn't dwell on it, mostly because I wasn't able to hold on to any single thought for more than a few seconds. It was at least another minute before Tamaki pulled away. I blinked a few times and looked up at him, slightly dazed. He pulled me into a hug, not bothering to explain what the kiss was about, murmuring something about how sorry he was. "Come on." he muttered into my shoulder. "You can't stay here. You're moving to my house." he pulled away and looked into my eyes with mingled sadness and excitement. He pulled me by my hand and down the stairs to my room. He immediately set off towards my closet, not bothering to close the door. He took out a suitcase and began to shove clothes in haphazardly, muttering something unintelligible.

"What is he doing, sempai?" Haruhi asked, watching Tamaki from the kontatsu with an eyebrow raised. I was also watching him, smirking. It was funny to watch.

"He's decided that I'm moving in with him." All eyes turned towards me.

"You're what?" the twins said in surprise simultaneously.

"Moving in." I repeated calmly.

"Does this mean Mr. Ootori is kicking you out?" asked Hunny rather bluntly.

"Well, sort of. He didn't say it in so many words but..." I shrugged. His saying his reputation was more important than me actually hurt more than his refusing to understand and accept my sexuality, and I was rather glad to move out and probably would have done so anyway even if Tamaki had not taken the initiative. The other hosts looked horror-struck. I stared back mildly.

"Kyoya-sempai... That's horrible. How could he do that?" I crossed my arms.

"My father isn't a man who will let anything get in his way and discards what proves a threat. I must have appeared threatening." I skirted around the actual details, not wanting to make her even more worried. The twins didn't seem to know how to react, but Hikaru's hands were shaking, a good sign that he was mad. I just hoped he didn't do anything rash, like burst into Father's office with fists flying for instance. Tamaki stuck his head out.

"You might need a third suitcase, Kyoya." he called. I swallowed a laugh.

"There's a duffel bag in there. On the top shelf, I believe." I called back. He disappeared inside again only to poke his head out again a second later.

"I can't reach it." Mori started to stand up, presumably to go help him. "Oh, thanks Mori. Can you get my cell from Haruhi, too?" Haruhi fished around in he pocket for his phone and handed it to Mori, who walked off to help Tamaki. I could hear him speaking to his father in French, but their was too quiet for me to make out exactly what he was saying. A knock came on the door and my older sister, Fuyumi walked in.

"Kyoya, what did you do?" she asked suspiciously. I pretended not to know what she was talking about.

"What do you mean?"

"Father! He's in a rage, storming around his office and muttering about you and Tamaki. What did you two do to get him so upset?" she asked.

"I only told him the truth." I said honestly, not wishing to enclose the details.

"Which are?" she asked, getting frustrated.

I sighed. Apparently she either wasn't getting the hint or was blatantly ignoring it. Father would probably tell them all tomorrow anyway, so I might as well tell her now. "I told him that I'm gay and dating Tamaki, Fuyumi." A pause, and then;

"That's it?" I was more than a bit surprised by this and didn't respond. She burst out laughing.

"What?" I asked, slightly defensive.

"Kyoya, I figured that out ages ago!" she said. I could only stare for a moment.

"When?" I asked.

"When you were maybe 8 years old." she said, shrugging.

"I didn't even know then!" I said, exasperated. "How did you figure it out before even I did?"

"It was just obvious. I did practically raise you. I would hope I could figure out something like that." I didn't know how to respond. I was having trouble getting past her knowing that I was gay several years before I figured it out for myself. I don't think I even knew what gay was back then. I rubbed one of my temples. Tamaki emerged pulling both suitcases behind him and Mori with the duffel bag, all obviously stuffed to the brim.

"Anything else you need?" he asked. I looked around my room, which hadn't been very personalized. I took the picture of my siblings and I from the dresser and my spare cellphone. I took my iPod, cash and credit card out of the nightstand. I stuffed all of these into my school bag along with my books and slung it over my shoulder. Fuyumi looked from me to Tamaki in confusion.

"I'm going to stay with Tamaki." I explained. "I don't think I'm exactly welcome here right now." Fuyumi nodded, although she looked saddened.

"I'll call a few servants to help carry your things. And a car, too." I smiled in thanks and she rushed off down the stairs. I turned to Tamaki.

"So who were you talking to?" I asked, referring to his phone conversation.

"Oh, first my father to tell him that you were coming." I noticed that he said tell and not ask. Exactly how much power did Tamaki have in his house? "Then I called one of the servants to tell her to prepare you the guest room closest to mine." I nodded, feeling a surge of affection for the Frenchman for going to all this trouble for me. He reached out and slung an arm over my shoulder, careful about showing too much affection in front of the others. While Haruhi probably wouldn't have batted an eye if he had shoved his tongue down my throat, it was unspoken but understood that the others weren't as comfortable as she was with it.

Fuyumi popped her head back in. "The car is waiting around front and two maids are right behind me." As if on cue, two of the maids, an older one that had taken care of me when I was a child and the peppy Chinese girl who had stopped us in the hall, walked in and took the bags from Tamaki and Mori. They carried them out the door without a word, a determined look on the face of the younger one. She must have been reprimanded for being a pest earlier and was determined not to mess up in front of the older woman. When they were gone, Fuyumi came and pulled me into a tight embrace.

"I wish you didn't have to go, but I suppose you don't have much of a choice." she sighed and pulled away. "Text me, yeah?" I nodded and she walked out the door.

"You two should get going before you're dad figures out what's going on." Kaoru advised. Hikaru nodded, standing up.

"Let's go. We'll see you off and then call cars for ourselves. We'll take Haruhi home." he said. I nodded and followed the others down the stairs. When we were outside, I looked back at my old home and wondered if I would miss it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Originally this chapter was longer but I decided that it would be better to split in half. You'll probably understand when you read the next chapter, but for now I'll leave you to ponder why I cut it off when I did and encourage you to come up with your own wild delusions. It'll probably be a lot more entertaining than my reason lol. Oh, and would you guys mind to terribly visiting my profile and voting on my poll for this story? Thanks! That doesn't excuse you from reviewing, just in case you thought you could get out of it by doing the poll.**

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><p>Kyoya's POV<p>

When we pulled up in front of the Suoh mansion, Tamaki barely even gave the driver time enough to stop before he jumped out, pulling me along with him with an air of excitement that rivaled that of a two year old on a sugar high. I stumbled out of the car and just barely managed to keep myself from smashing head first into the cement. As I straitened up, I saw two maids rush out of the front double doors and help the driver with the luggage, towing the overstuffed duffel and suitcases behind them. I manage to grab my school bag before I was towed inside by Tamaki.

I had seen the entrance hall dozens of times before, but this time it was different somehow. The floors had a new gleam to them and the chandelier looked brighter than ever. It was no longer just "Tamaki's house". It was home now. I tried the word out, low enough that Tamaki wouldn't hear, and found that, while unfamiliar, it felt right and secure, as though this was meant to be. However cheesy t may have sounded, it was how it felt.

"Well, Kyoya, this is your new home now! How does it feel?" I paused a moment before answering, trying to put my thoughts into words. I was so happy about being here and starting over but it was getting all mixed up with my confused emotions about leaving home, just making them more confused then before.

"It feels great to be here." I said slowly. "But being here means that I was right about my father, and I know I said I was okay with it... I even convinced myself that I was." Tamaki gave me a small, sad smile.

"You don't have to think about that bastard anymore." he said. I looked up, surprised at his openly insulting my father. I didn't really mind, I was just surprised really. I wondered briefly if it would make me a bad son not to defend him. But he wasn't really much of a father, was he? I decided that I wasn't obligated to do anything for him anymore. I grinned.

"No, not anymore. And hopefully never again." Tamaki returned the grin and took my face in his hands, pressing his lips gently to mine. When he pulled away a few seconds later, he was still grinning.

"Come on."

Tamaki grabbed my hand and whisked me away, leading me off in the direction of a sitting room I had only been in once before, when Tamaki had first had me over when we were younger. I smiled at the memory, back when I had first started to like him. When we stepped into the room, I found the headmaster sitting on a couch opposite us. A bit surprise to see him out of his office, it was a few seconds before I said anything.

"Good evening, headmaster." I said, bowing, my natural polite reaction system kicking in. "I hope you don't mind the intrusion." Mr. Suoh only laughed.

"Intrusion? Hardly. You're family, Kyoya, and it's a pleasure to have you with us." I smiled genuinely. It was nice to hear that from an adult instead of just scorn and tips for improvement for once.

"Thank you." I said. Tamaki pushed me over to the couch opposite the one the headmaster was sitting in and we sat.

"Kyoya, I don't mean to intrude on your personal life, but what exactly did happen to your arm?" It took a minute for it to register. I had gotten so used to doing everything one handed that I sometimes forgot I didn't have a second arm anymore. Well, not a complete one anyway. I didn't mind sharing anymore, not really, so I starting on the story.

I told him about my mother had been struggling with alcohol problems ever since before I was born, about how she had abused us before and and how she had attacked me in a drunken rage. I tried to only touch lightly on the abuse part, as I was still a bit sensitive on that subject. Mr. Suoh's face grew steadily paler as I spoke and I felt a little bit guilty. He obviously thought similar to Tamaki, that all parents loved their children unconditionally and being faced with evidence otherwise made his head swim. My voice trailed off at the end and I looked down at my legs, feeling a bit awkward having just divulged something like that to a man I didn't know very well.

The headmaster cleared his throat. "Well, Kyoya, I just want you to know that, er, y-you'll always be welcome here." he said. I looked up at him and forced a smile. I was grateful that he was taking me in but somehow I felt that it was going to be awkward living with him, especially because he knew about me and Tamaki's relationship. I wonder it he really did approve of it and wasn't just trying to make his son happy. I pushed the thought from my mind, not wanting to think anything bad about the man who had taken me in when my own family would not.

"Thank you very much. I appreciate your generosity." I said politely, inclining my head in a bow. Mr. Suoh nodded.

"You two should go unpack. Dinner is in only a few hours." Tamaki glanced down at his watch and jumped to his feet.

"It's a lot later than I thought! Come on, Kyoya." I stood to follow him. "We'll see you at dinner, Dad." I bowed again before following him. Tamaki led me upstairs and into the room. He closed the door and paused, hand still on the handle. I looked at him curiously.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked quietly. It didn't register with me what he meant and I only stared at him for a minute, confused, until he repeated the question, this time a little more forcefully. "Why did you never tell me? About your mother and what really happened to your arm... Why?" he turned to face me, a look of pain and just a bit of anger on his face. I took a step back, surprised and unsure how to respond.

"Tamaki..."

"I could have helped you!" he shouted. "I was worried, you know. You always locked yourself away and I knew there had to be a reason for it. And now this," he gestured to my arm. "Why didn't you tell me what had really happened?" I knew the answer to this of course, but I wasn't so sure I wanted to say it. I wasn't sure exactly why I didn't want to - it wasn't like I was thinking anything bad about him - but i didn't. I hesitated, but gave in. I knew he would weasel it out of me eventually anyway.

"Tamaki, look. I didn't want you to worry. You have a habit of... well... you over-react sometimes. I was afraid you'd try to track her down and give her a piece of your mind or something." I was referring to my mother, but I didn't say it directly as I assumed he would understand what I meant. His face softened only slightly.

"Kyoya, I don't want you to keep things from me just because you're worried about how I would react." He said, his body becoming less tense as he spoke. I started to relax a bit too, although I hadn't even noticed I was tensing up. He walked up to me and pulled me into a hug. I wasn't used to being hugged and felt myself tense again just slightly before relaxing into his arms. "You can tell me anything that's on your mind, anything that's bothering you at all. You know that, right?" I squeezed him tightly, grateful that he understood where I has been coming from and wasn't upset with me.

"I do now."


	16. Chapter 16

**Alright, next chapter! Warning!: horribly depressing chapter this is going to be but it may not continue to be depressing in the coming chapters... I tried to say that without giving anything away. I hope I succeeded...**

**Oh yes, before I forget, to my anonymous reviewer jasmine, who has once again brought up the "If Haruhi and Kyoya are listed as the characters, why aren't they dating?" I would like to, again, point out that that area is not in fact meant to be used for just the coupling of the story but the main characters, who often end up being the couple. However, that is not the case in this story until these last few chapters and therefore it's not listed as Kyoya and Tamaki because that's not who the main characters were at the time of publishing and I honestly don't consider Tamaki a main character because he's been the focus of perhaps 4 chapters out of what? 15 or 16? **

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><p>Tamaki and I had spent the entire afternoon unpacking and we still weren't done by the time dinner rolled around. Oh, sure, we had finished unpacking my clothing and my valuables, the few things I had brought from my parents house, but there was other stuff to be done to the room, to "personalize it", as Tamaki put it, and it simply wouldn't have the same feel if the servants did it instead. I questioned his logic behind this, but I didn't protest nor complain. In fact, I enjoyed the physical labor. Growing up in families like ours, you had your every whim tended to by people hired to do just that and grew up to be completely reliant on other people to take care of you. I wanted to do something for myself, to show that I too was capable of taking care of myself just as well as any commoner or at least any person with all there limbs still firmly attached, and I proved it by redecorating with Tamaki. The wallpaper color was decided to be deep blue and, after a quick tutorial from one of the servants, we set to work wallpapering the huge room. We only had finished a single wall when already 2 hours had passed and we decided to move on to another task and finish this one later as we wanted to get as much done as possible and this could always wait.<p>

The next step was to move in furniture. Tamaki had somehow placed an order for a desk, chair, computer, and table for the room without my knowing about it and had them delivered. We hoisted up the desk first, which proved to be rather difficult as we had to walk up a fairly large staircase to get to the correct floor and then walk down several long hallways to get to the bedroom. When we finally managed to get the desk into the room, we stopped and caught our breaths for a good five minutes while we decided where to put it. Well, Tamaki decided really. Honestly, my room at home wasn't organized based on how everything would look but rather what was the most continent place for them to be, but Tamaki refused to let this room be anything but fashionable. When I pointed out that, being the one who wasn't gay, it was ironic that he was saying that and not I, he responded with a rude hand gesture and a command to, "Shut the fuck up". I chuckled, but complied all the same.

He finally decided on placing it beneath a window that overlooked a cherry tree in the backyard on the basis that I would be able to watch the cherry blossoms in bloom in the spring. I decided not to point out the fact that it may become rather distracting while trying to do my schoolwork since he looked so pleased with his decision and I had no spine.

Next up we're the computer and chair. Both were fairly light objects and, after the desk, seemed extremely light, so we each carried one. When we got upstairs, Tamaki realized that there was no outlet close enough to the desk, so he ran and go an extension cord for it so he could plug it in. He asked a young maid to put a cover over the wires while we went downstairs again and got the table. The girl looked horrified at the thought of touching the wires but nodded anyway. I had a feeling that she would pass the job off onto someone else and take the credit for it, and when I was proved correct when another young lady rushed out of the room, muttering an apology and when we walked into the room ourselves, the girl who had looked horrified at the very sight of exposed wires made it seem as though it had been a perfectly easy task. I only smiled at her and said nothing. I tried to make it perfectly clear, though, that I was on to her by the way I looked at her. Sure enough when she caught my eye she blushed, mumbled some excuse and hurried out the door.

The table decidedly went in the middle of the room. We set it down and, because it was a very low table and there was no need for chairs and we had no more furniture to collect, moved onto the next task: bedspread.

After moving all that furniture, I was glistening with sweat and my breathing was slightly ragged. I had popped open the top few buttons of my shirt to let some air sweep around my neck and Tamaki did the same, his forehead as shiny with sweat as mine. I was glad to start a task that had no need for real physical exertion.

We walked into a large linen cabinet to get the bedspread and pillows and such. After a bit of searching, we found them at the very back of the closet. There were five extra sets. One was green and yellow, one black and blue, one red and orange, one purple and blue, and one red and black. Tamaki had an internal battle over what would look better in the room, the blue and black or the purple and blue. As rambled on and on about aesthetics and colors and matching I started to let my mind wander. I thought about all the things that had happened over the course of only just a month, although it felt like a life time: Haruhi had regained her memory, Tamaki and I had gotten together, Tamaki had come out to his father and I to mine and I had moved into Tamaki's house. It was a lot to happen in one month and I wasn't sure how I had kept my sanity, especially after suffering a trauma such as losing my arm in a fight with my mother of all people, but I had pulled through and was confident that now, I could get through anything.

"I think the blue and black, don't you?" Tamaki's voice suddenly broke through my haze and I nodded as though I had been listening the whole time.

"Yes, that one is fine." Tamaki frowned slightly and looked back down at the bed sets.

"You know, maybe we should do blue and purple. Oh, but then all the other things would have to be this same shade of purple, which would limit what we could get. Alright, that settles it." he said clapping his hands together. "Blue and black!" he reached out for them but paused halfway there. "Blue and black... Right?" he looked at me quizzically. I rolled my eyes and pulled him into a kiss.

Tamaki made a small noise of surprise but kissed back all the same. His hands wove around my neck, pulling me closer and deepening the kiss. My thoughts all revolved around the beautiful, amazing man in front of me as I snaked my arms around his waist to pull him closer still. We continued on like that for a few seconds before I suddenly realized exactly where we were and the all too great possibility that maid would come in and find us like this. I pulled away slowly, not exactly wanting to stop but realizing the necessity of it. I pulled the blankets off the shelf and rolled them to tuck them under my arm. As I was doing this, Tamaki hit me in the face with a soft something that turned out to be a pillow. I blinked in surprise before casually reaching out for a pillow belonging to a different set in front of me and threw it in his face. He toppled over and landed on a huge beanbag chair I assumed must have been from his childhood. He sat stunned for a minute but then started to laugh and, though I tried not to, his laughter was contagious and soon I was laughing to.

Once we had managed to get a grip on ourselves and act like adults, we carried the bed items into my new room and got to work, first stripping the bed of its old sheets and blankets and replacing them with the deep blue and black blanket and the larger blue pillows and two smaller black ones. It wasn't as neat as it would have been if someone hired to do this had done it, but I felt a certain amount of pride at having accomplished it. No doubt a maid would come in and straighten it up while we were eating dinner, but I didn't mind since it had been I who put them there in the first place.

There hadn't been time for anything after this. Dinner was due to be served in not even 20 minutes which didn't leave enough time to really even remove enough wallpaper to make it worthwhile, and seeing as we were both exhausted and it could always wait until tomorrow, we let it. There was a balcony in Tamaki's room, so we went and stand and look at the stars and grounds from it and to enjoy the mild summer night air. When we stepped out, a slight breeze brushed my cheek and I leaned against the railing, enjoying the cool wind. Tamaki, to my horror and surprise, sat on the edge and swung his legs over so that they dangled off the edge and he teetered precariously.

"Tamaki, what the hell are you doing?" I hissed, wanting to reach out and grab him but afraid that if I touched him he would fall 2 stories to the hard ground and possibly hit a rock. "If you fall-"

"I'm not going to fall, Kyoya." he said, laughing and swinging his legs. "I did this all the time as a kid. It feels nice to sit here like this again." he gazed up at the stars, a peaceful look in his eye, and imagined a younger Tamaki sitting here, swinging his short legs and looking up at the sky with his violet eyes, so care-free and innocent. I hesitated and decided to let him be. I too turned my eyes in the direction of the bright night sky above us, casting a wary glance in his direction every once in a while. We sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes and I started when Tamaki spoke again.

"We should get a picture of the sky, Kyoya." I have him a quizzical look. "It's your first night here, in a new home, starting a new life... This moment should be documented. Plus," he smiled. "The starts are so pretty tonight." I thought about this for a moment. Of course, what Tamaki said was true. Today was special, although I had never been the kind to document anything that wasn't paperwork, Tamaki wanted to. I grinned at this thought. Because Tamaki wanted to was the only reason I needed to do something. If Tamaki wanted me to jump off a bridge, I'd probably do it. I looked at the taller man next to me and realized that I loved him. Yes, that was what this was. Love. How could I deny someone I loved such a small thing as a picture.

"Do you have a camera?" I asked. I used to own one, but I hadn't used it very often at all and eventually it stopped working so I threw it away and hadn't bothered to get a new one. Of course, there was the one on my phone but I guessed that if Tamaki had a real one it would be of much better quality than a cellphone camera. Tamaki nodded.

"I'll go get it then." I offered.

"It's on my dresser." he told me. I nodded and walked off the balcony into his room.

I approached his dresser and, after a bit of searching for it, realized that there was no camera on this dresser. I opened a few drawers and dug around, but to no avail. I gave up on the dresser and glanced around the room, running an exasperated hand through my hair. I spotted it on the night table next to his bed and rolled my eyes. He was so disorganized.

As I started toward the table, I heard a gasp of surprise from the balcony and turned to see what had happened to Tamaki, but he was nowhere in sight. I only had a few seconds to process what this could mean before there was a yell followed immediately by a loud thump.

My ears were ringing and I almost toppled over. As soon as I had regained my sense of balance I sprinted across the room to the edge of the balcony and almost went over the edge.

"Tamaki!" I screamed. I knew I shouldn't, that it wouldn't do me any good to see, but I had to look. The first thing I noticed in the rapidly fading light of evening was blood pooled around a head of tousled blond hair, normally so well kept. I backed away slowly, horrified by what I was seeing. There was no way that this was really happening. I must have been having a nightmare; yes, that was what it was. It was a horrible dream and any moment I was going to wake up and I could rush to Tamaki's room and check that he was okay and of course he would be-

I cut off my thoughts. I was bein irrational. I had to accept the fact that Tamaki could be... That he could have just... That fall could have just... But it was no use. I couldn't even think the word. I raced down the hallway and the staircase, flinging myself out the doors and over the grounds, my feet pounding on the ground as hard as the blood was pounding in my ears. When I rounded the corner I saw him, unmoving and his arm sticking out at a funny angle. I stopped in front of him, still a glimmer of hope in my heart.

But then I saw his eyes.

Once so full of life, a sparkling, beautiful purple that I had fallen in love with, they were now dull and lifeless. There was nothing in those eyes, not quite glassed over but still staring up at me empty and unseeing. That was it. I sank to my knees next to him on the lawn as a single tear fell down my cheek. A maid started to scream and I heard the click of heels on marble and I knew that she had run for help. I could only stare at his still form, all medical knowledge flying out of my head. Sometimes I thought I saw his chest move slightly as though he was still breathing, but I didn't let myself grasp the idea. I watched as an ambulance arrived and quickly loaded Tamaki in the back, whisking him off to a nearby hospital. The nurses insisted I visit to, even though I had not been the one to fall from a second story balcony. As I sat in the back of a separate ambulance, a nurse checking my blood pressure and asking me health questions and the like I thought to myself, had I really just lost Tamaki?


	17. Chapter 17

**Second to last chapter people! I think... I don't know, I was planning on the next chapter being the last but we'll see how that goes. It may not be... I think it will be... Anyways, since next chapter's author's note will be used for thanking all the wonderful people who have been involved during this, I should talk about upcoming stories here. Oh, holy shit this is a long one. Lol. I just looked at the word count and damn, that's long! For me at least. How come I can't write all my chapter's to be this long? *sigh***

**I have a really long line of stories waiting for me. I'll just give you the name and pairing here because it would take to long to tell you what they're about or put a summary or anything. I'll warn you now that they're all for Harry Potter, so if you don't read Harry Potter or whatever you can just skip over this because I have nothing of importance to say about this story or anything after this. Lol.**

**1. GSA (Gay Straight Alliance), Sirius B. x Remus L.**

**2. Questions with No Answers, Sirius B. x Remus L., and may hint at Remus L. x OC.**

**3. Paranormal Activity, Sirius B. x Remus L. (LOL I'm obsessed)**

**4. What is Hope?, I haven't decided the coupling, although I don't think it will end up having one. It'll probably hint slightly at Harry x Ron.**

**5. I'll list my oneshot's as 5 cause I don't actually know when they will get written. Both Sirius x Remus. Moving On and Fix You,**

**Don't forget to review! I think I wrote a good enough chapter, for a change, that I deserve one... I think. Well, review and let me know!**

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><p>I sat in the hospital waiting room outside of the ICU*, quaking with fear. I knew that I should try to distract myself, not think about Tamaki and think about something else for a while while he waited for news, but I couldn't hold a single thought in my head for more than a few seconds before they turned back to Tamaki, his broken body on the ground, blood pooling underneath him... As soon as I thought this I would quickly attempt to think about something else and the process would start all over again.<p>

I don't know how long I sat in that room with nothing to distract me, the waiting room being oddly empty besides me. Normally I wouldn't have found this strange in the slightest because I would have been in one of my father's private hospitals. But now, with my father no longer talking to me, I couldn't have gotten Tamaki into a private hospital where the care would have been much better than in a general hospital. I had figured that in a general public hospital there would be anxious families in the waiting rooms, scared and looking for something to distract them from their thoughts in much the same way I was. The fact that there wasn't was a thought path he would have to remember for another day, because he had always assumed that commoner families were closer than aristocratic families, although this seemed to counter that. I didn't dwell on the fact now though, mostly because I was incapable of doing so.

Mr. Suoh, being Tamaki's father, had been granted access into the hospital room because he was family. Being someone's boyfriend wasn't enough to get you pass the evil looking woman at the front desk who probably shouldn't be a nurse, seeing as she didn't seem to have any compassion for human kind whatsoever. She was a bit scary, honestly, and I had quickly given up on arguing with her and retreated to the waiting room after the headmaster had promised to give me news when he got out. I glanced up at the clock for what was probably the 500th time in the last half hour before looking back down at the floor, my leg starting to shake again. Suddenly, a voice coming from the front desk made me jump.

"Are you two close?" the head nurse who had given me the evil eye not 45 minutes ago asked. She had seemed so cruel then, but the look on her face now was somewhere close to pity. She was making an effort, at least. I tried to smile at her and nodded.

"Very close." I didn't go into anymore detail, seeing as I didn't know her or how she would react to our relationship. She didn't respond automatically. When she did, her voice was a bit softer.

"We'll do everything we can for him." I blinked in surprise, not expecting her to say anything like that. I nodded and smiled genuinely, hers being the first comfort I had received since this happened. I had sent out a quick text letting the other host club members know where we were and what was happening before I had jumped into my car and raced off after the ambulance, but none of them had responded yet. My thoughts briefly turned to them and wondering what was keeping them from there phones at such a time when-

"Kyoya!" came Haruhi's breathless voice as she raced inside. My head snapped up and I stared at her in shock. "Kyoya, are you alright?" she asked, her words each separated by a breath as she leaned forwards, hands on her knees and swaying slightly. I jumped up in alarm and guided her to a chair.

"What, did you run all the way here?" I asked as she caught her breath.

"Pretty much. I was so worried I didn't even think to call a cab. I'm not sure I could have stayed still in one anyway." I chuckled mirthlessly. "Any news?" I shook my head.

"No, not yet. The headmaster is inside, talking to the doctor and visiting. He said he'll tell me everything when he gets out." Haruhi nodded and settled into her chair.

"I guess I'll just stay here with you, then." she said firmly. I didn't argue. I was desperate for something to distract me.

"Have you had contact with the twins? I texted them as well, but they never responded."

"They probably did the same thing I did. I texted them too after I got yours, but I didn't check my phone again after that." she pulled it out and a few minutes later said, "They say they're on their way right now. Check your phone; maybe the texted you too." I pulled out my own phone which had been silenced due to the hospital policy and saw that I had texts from Hikaru, Mori, and Hunny. I pulled up Hikaru's first, which said the same thing he had said to Haruhi. I didn't bother responding and simply deleted it. Next was Mori's, telling me to check Hunny's text. I rolled my eyes and deleted this one as well. Hunny informed me that they were on their way and that they would be bringing snacks. This made me smile. Hunny of course would do that, because according to him food made everything better. I didn't understand how the kid wasn't 500 pounds by now. Well, he wasn't really a kid. He was technically an upperclassman, but I had trouble thinking of him as such since he was such a child at heart.

I was about to text him back when Mori walked through the door, once again carrying Hunny on his back, a shopping bag in his hands. I slid my phone shut and went to take the bag from him. The sign that stated there was to be no food or drink in the waiting room was ignored by both us and the nurse at the desk, and I carried the bag to the table and set it down. Hunny promptly jumped of Mori's back and started unloading it. He had gotten a case of chocolate chip cookies, small cupcakes and a bag of chips. It seemed Mori had sneaked a jar or salsa into the bag to, evidently hoping Hunny would eat some with his chips. This didn't seem to be the case though, but whether Mori was upset about it or not was impossible to tell.

In truth, I was starving, but wasn't sure I could stomach any food. Even if this had been real food I wasn't sure I could eat it. Yet I made an effort anyway and took the cookie Hunny handed me, knowing that my body was going to need something to hold it over or I would collapse from a mix of stress and hunger. I wasn't exactly a big fan of sweet foods, although this particular cookie wasn't all that bad really. But maybe that was just because my body was so desperate for something to eat that it didn't mind what it took in at this point.

We sat in silence, not knowing what to say. Until the twins burst in. Hikaru dove through the door, and Kaoru ran after him, trying to grab his arm and stop him. He immediately caught me by the throat and threw me up against the wall.

"WHAT THE HELL!" he yelled in my face. I tried to throw him off of me, generally stronger than he was, but the surprise attack had given him long enough to get a good enough hold that he had constricted my breathing and I couldn't get him off. I didn't hear much more of what he said from a combination of trying to pry him off and listening to the yells of the other hosts and the nurses. I could see that they were doing their best to get him off but he simply threw them off and moved his face closer to mine, yelling something I couldn't hear. I started to see spots and movement became troubling enough that I stopped trying. Finally, I felt his hand being yanked away from my throat and I fell to the floor as air rushed into my lungs and my head spun. I coughed violently for a second and tried to breath deeply, not attempting to get up just yet. When I was sure I could stand, I sat up slowly and then stood. The nurses all looked anxious and frightened as Hikaru was dragged away and Kaoru ran after them. I had no idea why he had attacked me so suddenly, as though Tamaki falling off a balcony had been my fault.

"Are you alright?" a blond, younger looking nurse asked. I nodded at her and she took my wrist, checking my pulse. After muttering with her fellow nurses for a while, they apparently decided I was fine and ran off, presumably to wherever they had taken Hikaru. Haruhi helped me to sit down, or rather collapse, on a couch.

"What just happened? Why did he attack you like that?" she asked, her tone worried and angry. I shrugged. Hunny whispered something to Mori, who nodded and walked off as well. I assumed he was going to check up on Hikaru.

"I don't know. Maybe he blames me for what happened to Tamaki." A horrible thought suddenly crossed my mind. I leaned forward and put my head into my hands. "Augh, I'm such an idiot!" I exclaimed. "I shouldn't have let him... I told him not to, but I didn't push it, why did I just let him, I should have argued-" Haruhi stopped me.

"I don't know what you're talking about Sempai, but if you're blaming yourself then stop right now." I shook my head but she didn't give me a chance to say anything. "It was not your fault. It was no ones fault. Tamaki fell of a balcony. You can't honestly think that it was your fault he fell. It's not like you pushed him."

"Maybe not, but I as good as did." I replied sullenly. "I told him not to sit on the edge, but he insisted it would be fine and it made me nervous but I let him anyway, and then I left the balcony and he fell..." Haruhi shook her head angrily.

"So you think that because he chose to ignore the fact that sitting there was a bad idea that you're directly responsible?" I paused only momentarily. She did have a point...

"Well, maybe I wasn't directly responsible, but I could have prevented it." I argued. Haruhi only shrugged.

"Maybe, but I don't think so." said Hunny before she could open her mouth. He hugged his stuffed rabbit closer. "Tama-chan is way to stubborn to listen to anyone else when he thinks he's right." he pointed out. I sighed. I didn't say anything for a long while, but stared at the floor. I could feel everyone's eyes on me, and it made me slightly unnerved.

"What if something's happened?" I muttered, almost under my breath. "Something they can't fix." I couldn't bring myself to ask what would happen if he died. It felt like saying it out loud would make the possibility too much to face, so I tried to say it in a more round about way.

"He's not going to... Nothing is going to happen." Haruhi said, her voice soft and unsure. "He's going... he's going to be just fine." I wasn't reassured, and it didn't seem like anyone else was either. We all spent a long moment in silence, thinking about Tamaki and if it would even be possible to go on without him. It was then that Mr. Suoh emerged into the waiting room. I immediately stood and the rest of the host club did as well.

"He's alive and stable." he said, relief flooding his voice as relief flooded my body. I could finally breathe freely again. He was okay. I hadn't lost him. "It shouldn't be long until he wakes up and when he does they'll move him to a regular room. He had a deep laceration on his back but that should heal up just fine, along with 3 broken ribs. If everything goes well he should be released in a few weeks." Haruhi hugged me, and I was so happy I hugged her back. He was going to be okay. He would be out of the ICU* in a few days and everything would be fine.

"When can I see him?" I asked. The headmaster smiled sympathetically.

"As soon as he's moved to his new room. I tried to get you in today, but the doctors wouldn't hear of it." I bowed to him.

"Thank you. Just trying was more than enough." Suddenly, I remembered Hikaru's unexplained attempts to murder me. "What about Hikaru?" I asked, frowning.

"Ah, yes, the doctor told me what happened. They're holding him until he calms down and ask a few questions and if they're sure he's mentally stable they'll let him go." I thought about this a moment. I didn't think he was necessarily mentally unstable, just that he was hot headed and quick to jump to conclusions. I was sure they would let him go without too much of a hassle.

I decided to leave for the day. I wasn't doing myself any good by just sitting here and could try to find something to do at home to take my mind off of things at least. There was a lot to be done - I had to figure out what to say to the ladies at club, I had homework, I had to calculate figures and statistics for the club... I excused myself and explained that I was going to go home and get some work out of the way since I couldn't do any good here, but didn't manage to get out the door without having the box of cookies, which had been largely untouched by Hunny in favor of the cupcakes, pressed into my hands.

Only a few day... and I would get to see him. I was anxious for the time to pass.

* * *

><p><span>5 Days Later<span>

I walked down the hospital halls quickly, wrinkling my nose at the smells that came along with hospitals. I checked the number on the slip of paper that I had written Tamaki's room number on and looked up at the door in front of me. The numbers matched. I took a deep breath. I hadn't seen Tamaki in days, and his father had hinted that something was wrong a couple of days ago upon returning home. I was anxious to see him but also nervous. He wouldn't tell me what it was, so I figured it couldn't have been too bad or he would explain and most likely try to get me in to see him again. Still, I was nervous. I pushed open the door and quickly strode inside.

Tamaki was propped up on the bed and staring out the window at the sky, which depicted a perfect summer day. Tamaki was probably longing to go outside right now. I smiled at the sight of him and walked over to his bedside, sitting down in the chair next to it. Tamaki turned to look at me and his face lit up.

"Kyoya! You came to see me!" I was a bit confused.

"Of course I came to see you." I said slowly. "Why wouldn't I?" But Tamaki wasn't even listening.

"Hey, Kyoya, do you know what happened to me? I can't remember and Father won't tell me. He said the doctors said that amnesia patients are supposed to remember on there own." I froze. Amnesia? How much had he forgotten? When did he think it was? "Did something happen to me at the club after you left to take Haruhi home?" I thought for a moment. Take Haruhi home? When was the last time I had-

One month ago. One month ago Haruhi had recovered from her own bout of memory loss and remembered that I was gay, that I liked Tamaki, and one month ago she had helped us get together. I had to know... how much of that day had he forgotten?

"Tamaki." I breathed. "What's the last thing you remember?" Tamaki frowned in thought.

"Well, you and Haruhi left because Haruhi had a migraine and was too sick to stay for club... How is she?" he asked worriedly. "Is she still in pain?" I could only stare at him. He didn't know about us. He didn't know that, mere hours later, Haruhi had helped us finally confess how we felt to each other. He didn't know that he was my boyfriend, the one person in the world who I really and truly cared about. He didn't know.

And the worst part was, I wasn't allowed to tell him.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry, I forgot to include this when I first updated the chapter:<strong>

***I imagine most people are going to know this stands for Intensive Care Unit. The reason I starred it because I wasn't sure it they called it the same thing in Japan. **


	18. Chapter 18

**Final chapter! Wow, I can't believe this is done! I love you all and thank you so much for reading! I can't wait to start all the stirked that I have yet to come yet I'm sort of sad that this one is over. This story has been an ongoing project for so Lon and it feels a bit like I've lost something... Ah, I'm being overemotional... On to the thank you's!**

**Thank you to:**

**Lilygirl44/Giotto Vongola for being awesome and sticking with this story. **

**Mononoke666 for helping me through my writers block and encouraging me and for being awesome.**

**Sylvantbreath for helping me through my writers block and being awesome. Also for agreeing to beta GSA because I couldn't get anyone to respond to my PM's...**

**Kaley254 for getting so into this story and being a cool person to talk to.**

**I Double Dare You for existing. **

**Whoever wrote Black Butler for creating the scene that inspired this story (see author note of chapter 2)**

**Everybody who read this story and wrote the stories that I used for research, none of which I can remember off the top of my head.**

**Now, on to the story! Enjoy the final chapter of Losses.**

* * *

><p>1 Month Later<p>

I walked down the hall to Music Room 3, the unused room in which the Host Club held its activities. Classes were finally out, and it had been another long day for me, always sneaking sideways glances at Tamaki and wondering what he was thinking about, wondering if he had remembered anything more. He was progressing steadily, the doctor had said. The fact that upon retuning home and seeing the balcony where he had fallen that he had remembered what had happened was a good sign. According to Tamaki, he had stretched his arms above his head and when he'd gone to put his hand back on the balcony railing he was sitting on he had put his hand into a puddle of water and it had slipped backwards off the railing suddenly, causing him to loose his balance and topple over as well. When he told this story I had the sudden urge to get up and hug him, pull him close and kiss him and never let go. But I couldn't. I pushed my glasses up my nose. Would I ever be able to again?

I opened the door calmly to find Tamaki lecturing the twins again. When they saw me, they gave me a look that simply pleaded for help. About a month ago, I would have chuckled and placed a hand in Tamaki's shoulder, effectively shutting him up. But I had noticed that lately, without Tamaki by my side like he had been, I started to fall back into my old Shadow King ways. I turned away from them, ignoring third it pleas for help in favor of siting at my usual table and opening my laptop to calculate finances, budget, that sort of thing.

"Mommy!" Tamaki shouted. I looked up, the expression on my face bored but feeling as though and iron vise had clamped down in my hear.

"What is it... Daddy?" I asked calmly. Tamaki pointed a shaking elegant finger, shaped from years of playing the piano, at the twins.

"These shady twins have been harassing my Haruhi!" he said. Haruhi walked by carrying a tray of tea calmly, quite obviously unaffected by whatever the twins had done to spark Tamaki's rage this time.

"C'mon, Boss, it's true!" Kaoru said, holding up a swimsuit magazine.

"Yeah. Haruhi would look cute in this one." I sighed. So that's what this was about. Tamaki started shouting again, but this time he was blushing.

"I will not have my daughter walking around in something so... So... So inappropriate!" he finally screeched. The twins only laughed.

"Oh, this is inappropriate? Just wait till you see this other one, it's even cuter..." Tamaki ripped the magazine oh of their hands as they started flipping through the pages and threw it on the ground, stomping on it. He then turned back to the twins who were smirking.

"You will not harass your precious sister! My children will treat each other with respect! Back me up, Kyoya!" he said over his shoulder at me. I looked across the room to wear he was standing, his face red and eyes flashing and tried not to grin. The twins saw this and winked at me. I pondered this for a minute before slipping back into my assumed Demon Lord persona.

"Listen to your father." I said in a bored voice, saying what I knew Tamaki wanted to hear. I was rewarded by a smile from the host king, his eyes softening when he looked at me. I felt my heart clench for what must have been the 20th time that day, knowing he didn't realize exactly how I felt, didn't remember telling me how he felt, didn't remember the reason why I was living in his guest bedroom. And he may never.

I looked back down at my keyboard and continued my work before he noticed me staring at him. I missed Tamaki. I really missed him. I wanted to be able to hold him again, to kiss him, tell him things would be okay when he was feeling down and help him reach his goals, long and short term. It sounded sappy and uncharacteristic, but it was how I felt. I couldn't explain it myself. But then again, should I have to be able to explain it? Wasn't this how love worked? I sighed and attempted to refocus my attention on my work, but it was no good. There was no way I was going to be able to get anything done. I shut my laptop rather forcefully, irritated. Tamaki stopped arguing with the twins and looked over at me, perplexed.

"Kyoya? Is something wrong?" his large violet eyes emitted worry and looked so young and innocent... I melted, right into a puddle of juice on the floor. I was a few seconds before I could talk again. When I could, I noticed my voice was only very slightly higher than usual.

"I'm just fine, Tamaki." I said, turning away from him before those eyes could render me speechless again. "If you'll excuse me, I'll be right back." I walked swiftly towards the door and shut it firmly behind me. I walked down the corridor, not really paying attention to where I was going. I tried to clear my head of all thoughts of Tamaki, redirect my thoughts to the host club, but it was no good. My mind was determined to stay distracted. I stopped walking and leaned up against the wall, looking up at the academy's high ceilings and slowly slid down the wall until I was sitting on the cool marble, my head against the wall just looking up. It wasn't too long before Haruhi found me.

"Kyoya-sempai?" she asked, walking up to me slowly. I turned my head and looked at her.

"Yes, what is it?" I asked as though it was perfectly normal to be found sitting in a hallway, staring at a ceiling. She stopped in front of me.

"It's time for club." she paused and looked up quickly too before looking back at me. "What are you doing here anyway?" I lifted my shoulders and let them fall in a half hearted shrug.

"I was simply walking and thinking and somehow ended up here." Haruhi was silent for a moment. After a minute had passed, she sat down as well, across from me. We sat like that for a few more minutes, saying nothing, until she broke the silence.

"Were you thinking about Tamaki?" she asked softly. I stiffened but did not answer. Obviously she had figured out that this meant yes because she nodded.

"I thought so. I've been thinking about him to you know." she sighed. "I feel like we're living a lie." I looked at her, a question on my face.

"A lie? How so?" I asked. She shrugged.

"It just doesn't feel right, not telling him about what happened. I mean, I know we're not exactly lying to him and I know that this is what the doctor said he needed but," she sighed again. "I can't stand the fact that all this time, he hasn't known about a single thing that went on. I just... I can't stand it." I looked at her in surprise. I hadn't expected it to bother her, but now that I thought about it, it seemed oddly characteristic of her. She always took on other peoples problems and tried to help them. She always up others before herself. Of course she would feel upset over not being able to tell him about our relationship, which I assumed was what she was referring to. After all, it had been her who got us together in the first place. It must have been frustrating not to be able to do anything to help us now. I nodded.

"As a friend I realize my opinion should be biased but what he's done to you... It's unfair. Tamaki was able to find happiness because he forgot. Meanwhile, he's left you to suffer with your memories of him." I smiled and looked down at the floor.

"It would certainly seem so." I said with a chuckle. Was this suffering? Remembering the time Tamaki and I spent together, the happy days that I got to spend at the blond's side? It was sad to know that I didn't have that anymore, yes, but I don't think I was suffering from the memories. The memories were happy ones. The present was making me suffer, not the past. I didn't try to explain this though. I had a feeling that only I could really understand this since I was experiencing it and she wasn't. I pushed myself off the ground and brushed off my pants.

"We should be getting back. You're guests are probably wondering where you've gotten off to by now." Haruhi stood and brushed off her own uniform.

"You're right, we should get back." she started off down the hallway and I followed behind her. When music room 3 came into view, I took a deep breath. I had been doing this for quite a few years before now, so it shouldn't have been this hard to slip back into my usual attitude and demeanor, hiding my feeling so well you would have never known they were there. Logic would tell you so. It just goes to show, I supposed, that logic isn't everything.

"Kyoya, Haruhi, there you are! Club is starting!" he bustled Haruhi away to a table where a few young girls, first years by the looks of it and regulars of hers, were waitingp. I started toward the table where I usually sat to get some work done while the others were doing club, but Tamaki put out a hand to stop me. He gave me a meaningful look and glanced over at the far side of the room and then back a me. I could tell that he was saying he wanted to talk to me, but I was surprised. I had no idea that Tamaki knew how to be subtle or anything other than loud. This was a new side to him. I wondered if the fall had done more than just remove his memory.

I walked casually to the other side of the room, but I could have skipped flamboyantly wearing bright pink and no on would have payed the slightest attention, not now that the hosts had gotten into the full swings of their individual acts. Nothing short of an earthquake could distract the ladies now. I waited for Tamaki to be able to excuse himself from his customers and come over to talk about whatever it had been.

"Kyoya." he said when he had walked over to me. "I remember what happened. I remember falling of the balcony now. And I remember something else about you." I looked at him, a mild expression on my face but my heart hammering. What exactly was it that he had remembered and how much? "Kyoya, I remember that you're gay." he said. "Is... there anything more to that? I feel like there is but... I just can't remember." he frowned in concentration, his eyebrows knitting together. He looked so cute like that, trying to think, to understand. But it also pained me because I knew that I couldn't tell him. I couldn't, no matter how much I wanted to...

"Yes, that's correct. I am gay." I said evasively. "Now if that's all, you have customers and I have work to do, so..." I walked away, trying with all my might to not run back to him, take him in my arms and tell him everything, let everything that I'd been holding in for the past month spill out. But I steeled myself against my feelings, knowing that no matter what I couldn't tell him... This was for the best, this is what had to be done... For Tamaki's sake...

I sat down at the computer and immersed myself in my calculations to distract my mind, which was racing with thoughts and memories and thoughts of Tamaki. I calculated profits and losses, brainstormed new product ideas and organized upcoming events, but no matter what I did I was surrounded by thoughts of him as he was in everything I did. There was no escaping him. I sighed and finally closed my laptop, giving up on concentrating. I looked up and saw that the last of the guests were saying goodbye to their respective hosts and packing up their bags. Normally I would have stayed behind and gotten some more work done before heading home - and by home, I meant Tamaki's house, but wasn't that home now? The house of my father certainly wasn't, not anymore at least, so I supposed it really was home. Today, however, I knew it would be pointless and gathered up my belongings as well. Tamaki looked up at me as I crossed the room and smiled at me, the same smile he used to give me when we were... Together? Well, we really had never broken up, so were we still together? I would have to think about it later, right now I could barely string two words together in my mind at the sight of that smile. I tried to smile back but the muscles in my face - or the rest of me for that matter - weren't responding. He slung his bag over his shoulder and walked over to the door. He stopped with his hand in the handle and shot that amazing smile over his shoulder at me.

"See you at home, Kyoya." he said before walking out the door. The rest of the hosts turned to stare at me in shock as I stood bent over, one hand on my bag strap, staring a the place where he had just been standing, mingled surprise and hope on my face.

"Do you think..." Haruhi started.

"He must..." Hunny said.

"Well what are you just standing there for?" Hikaru asked, the first person able to tear his eyes away from the spot.

"Go after him, you idiot!" Kaoru finished. All the hosts nodded. I grinned, finally able to move. I picked up my bag, threw it over my shoulder and ran to the door and flung it open, racing down the hall after him, hoping, praying... Could it be true? Did he remember me? I loved him... Was it too much to hope that he still loved me? I sped down the hall and caught sight of his retreating back.

"Tamaki!" I shouted. He turned and saw me and gave me that amazing, blinding smile. My Tamaki... Mine.


End file.
